Should my 12 year old be allowed to date?

Rosie - posted on 03/13/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My son is 12 and is a kind respectful person

Everyday he is telling me the reasons he should date. We don't usually let our children date until they're 16

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Dove - posted on 11/02/2014

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My kids aren't allowed to date one on one until they are 16... and they are encouraged to wait until marriage for sex. Granted, the oldest is only 13 right now, but that IS her plan. She thinks the kids that are dating and having sex in her class (yes, at 12-14 years old) are idiots.

Jordan - posted on 11/01/2014

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I tell my kids that they are allowed to start dating at 14, but nothing serious. It's really simple in my house. I tell my kids about sex,etc at 11, they are allowed to date at 14 and they are allowed to start having sex at 16. =)

Ev - posted on 11/02/2014

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You are welcome Jordan. My kids are all almost grown and gone from the nest. We had those talks about sex early on as well and kept at it during the rest of their preteen and teen years. A lot of moms have come on here and said the same thing about allowing their teen child having sex under their roof in a nonchalant manner to one of attitude as if the child having sex at this age was nothing to worry on. Kids do not understand the emotions and other things involved as I said. They seem to think something "magical" will happen like they will love the each other forever or some such thing as that. They need to be grounded to the point that having sex early is not always the best time to do it and the consequences may be more than they are ready to handle.

Diana - posted on 03/14/2013

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Maybe at least 13 as long as its just puppy love, nothing serious, meet the girl have her go to your house so u can keep an eye on them! Meet her parents keep communication open or they'll start seeking behind your back. It's hard to keep boys and there hormones at home all the time lol.:)

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Ev - posted on 11/02/2014

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I agree Dove. Mine also had to wait until 16 to date period even group dates. My son currently is not dating by choice. But a lot of that is due to things he has seen growing up. His dad dated a lot when he was younger and also having seen how two more marriages have been has not given him a great outlook on dating and relationships. He swears he will be a bachelor by choice. My daughter married at 21 and has two children of her own.

Jordan - posted on 11/01/2014

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Evelyn--

Thank you for informing me with this information. None of my kids have reached 16 yet and the reason I say they should be allowed to have sex at 16 is because when I was a teen I was neglected and told I could have sex at any age. I don't want this to happen to my kids, so I will ring their father and talk to him about what is a reasonable age for them to begin. I want whats best for my children so thanks once again for filling me in with this info.

Ev - posted on 11/01/2014

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Jordan--

I know kids will do things when they can without telling their parents. Its normal and curiousness working on them. But to actually allow sex at 16 is not good. They do not still understand the ramifications of an adult decision let alone the emotions tied to having sex. I think its safe to say be cautious and all, but not to encourage the act until they are at least an adult.

Ev - posted on 03/13/2013

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I do not know any 12 year old that is ready to date no matter their culture or background. At 12 years old, they have barely gotten out of playing with toys and such. A 12 year old does not understand things that go with dating as yet. I would not let my 12 year old date. My kids were told 16. ANd 16 it is.

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