Should my 14 child be seperated from her peers in class?

Sarah - posted on 11/15/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My 14 year old daughter has been having problems with one teacher. This teacher happens to teach 2 of her classes, language arts and history. She doesn't have any choice but to have this 1 teacher. My problem is this. Her teacher has been separating my daughter from her peers if she doesn't have her homework or classwork ready by the start of each class. She is basically sticking her at her own desk and having her work alone. The way I see it is she might as well make her face the wall and put a "dunce" cap on her. I personally don't think this is going to make any problems better. I feel that this will cause more problems, and make her really resent her teacher. Please let me know what you all think I should do about this. Mind you the principal, her other teachers and the school counselor all know about this situation. It was just brought to our attention today.

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Ariana - posted on 11/16/2012

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Your daughter will have to learn how to deal with people she doesn't like. Why is she able to succeed in her other classes but not this class? Is she purposefully not doing the work because she dislikes the teacher? Either way your daughter is getting consequences for her actions.



If there are other issues as to why she is having troubles with this teacher those should be talked about and maybe she could go and talk to him. Either way this is HER issue, not yours.



Your daughter is going to have to learn to deal with people in authority that she dislikes. She will eventually have a boss, or manager, or employee that she has to deal with who she really dislikes. Apparently your daughter dislikes this teacher for one reason or another and is now coming to you about how hard it is and using whatever she can to say how much she dislikes the teacher (he's being mean to me because he's excluding me from others).



If your daughter wants to be included then she should get her homework done. If there are other issues going on your daughter should try to speak to her teacher about those issues and see what he has to say about it. You should tell your daughter that it is up to her to finish her homework or else this consequence will continue.



It's understandable that you want to look out for her, but saving her from the consequences of her actions is not the answer. Don't shove her face in it, but be straightforward, you can tell her you understand she dislikes this, and you're there for her, but if she wants to socialize she'll need to start finishing her work. If she wants help making a plan for doing the work you are there to help her. You are NOT there to bail her out every time life doesn't go the way she want.

Jodi - posted on 11/15/2012

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But Sarah, in these 2 classes, she is NOT doing what is expected of her and she needs to be held accountable. You need to talk to your daughter and ensure that she gets her work done and then there won't BE an issue. This is not the teacher's fault, it is your daughter's own actions that are leading to these consequences. The solution is quite obvious. Stop making excuses for her.

Sarah - posted on 11/15/2012

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It's not that she is left at her desk alone. There are large tables in the room that at least 6 students sit at together. Her teacher removes her from the group and puts her at a single desk on the other side of the room.

Becky - posted on 11/15/2012

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Clearly at 14, I would hope that she would understand that there would be consequences if her work wasn't done. Heck, even at elementary school, if a child doesn't have their work done they can't participate in certain activities. She's 14, she needs to take care of this on her own. I really don't see what the "issue" is. She doesn't do her work so she's left at her desk alone? I'm sorry, but this is an easy solution. Do the work for the class.

Sarah - posted on 11/15/2012

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Jodi,

I know what consequences are. And I totally respect that. My problem is that this is the only teacher she is having problems with. All of her other teachers have no problems.



I think that it's kind of rude of you to assume things that aren't happening. I do keep in contact with her teachers, because she is on a student study team.



She is a straight 'A' student except for these two classes. I expect her to do better, regardless of if she has a personal problem with the teacher or not.

Jodi - posted on 11/15/2012

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It's called consequences. If your daughter hasn't done her homework, then she is not doing what is expected of her. Is she learning her lesson? Of course not, because mommy is running to the school all upset because her baby, who didn't do the right thing in the first place and finish her homework or classwork, is being held accountable.



Do you really think you are helping her. I'm with the teacher on this one. Your daughter needs to pull her finger out and get her work done if she doesn't like how the teacher is dealing with it. Problem solved.

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