Should parents stay in a committed relationship if one person isn't happy?

Jennifer - posted on 10/01/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




I have been with the father of my 2 kids for almost 8 years. The last year or so, I have been really unhappy. He cheated on me, and I never got past it. On top of that, he doesn't work and doesn't seem to be looking for work. Our 2 kids go to daycare that I pay weekly.Occasionally he pays half of daycare, when he has money. A little over a year ago his Dad passed away very suddenly, and that seems to be when everything went downhill for us. We have to live with my parents because we can't afford to live on our own. He doesn't do anything around the house to keep it up. Leaves dishes, pop cans, food, everything out in the open. Until I get tired of it and take care of it. I told him more than once that I felt like a single parent. He told me he was sorry,things would change, and they didn't. So I finally asked him to leave. Now we aren't living together, and he is very emotional and telling me he wants to work on our relationship. I just don't know that I do. I am so confused. Any advice?


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Jennifer - posted on 10/02/2012




He says that he would be...but hasn't made an attempt to yet. I just wonder if he is telling me what he thinks i want to hear to make me let him back in

Gwen - posted on 10/02/2012




You say most of these problems came about following the death of his father? Sounds like he is suffering from depression. Would he be willing to seek medical help?

Ariana - posted on 10/02/2012




If you want to work things out I would seek a couples councellor. If he is willing to see a couples councellor with you, while you are still not living together, you can see if things are able to be worked out and patched up. This is IF you are interested in doing this. I would not go back to him just to work things out together as that has been shown to not work already.

Denikka - posted on 10/01/2012




I think you did the right thing. He needs to be on his own and grow up.

To answer your topic question, no. I don't think anyone should stay in a relationship when they are unhappy. Absolutely, work on the relationship, if that's what you want. But BOTH people need to be committed to working on things and making them better, and it seems clear that in this case, he is not.

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