Should u shower before picking up your baby or toddler after sex as they are inocent

Maria - posted on 08/22/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

39

0

2

Also would u let baby or toddler climb or play on to bedsheets when you havent washed them after sex. Even if it means killing their joy by removing them off the bed. If you didnt have time to wash after sex would u pick up baby or toddler by holding them at arms length or close to you if u are dressed but not clean. Not talking about them getting ill. I mean out of respect to them.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Denikka - posted on 08/22/2013

2,160

5

749

Um..no?
I have never even heard of anyone doing any of this, and I sure don't do it either.
Sex is a natural, beautiful thing. And treating it like that just makes it seem..dirty.
Hubby and I cosleep with our kids (aged 4.5-boy, 2.5-girl and newborn-boy) and are currently in separate, but side by side beds. I sleep with our newborn and he sleeps with the older kids. If we want to have sex, we shift the kids around and have sex, then go back to our own beds and snuggle the kids. We almost never shower after sex, and I'm sure not going to strip the beds and remake them in the middle of the night.

What you describe is just extreme and, honestly, unnecessary. Young kids don't have any idea about sex and, by the time they may potentially be able to smell it and recognize that scent, they're probably active themselves and are going to be more grossed out by the fact that their *old* parents are *doing it* than have any sense of a loss of innocence.

Denikka - posted on 08/22/2013

2,160

5

749

You may as well be buying a new bed every time you have sex then. And washing the blankets and pillows along with the sheets.
Sex is an expression of love. It's not dirty, even if you may have been raised to believe that. Sex created your daughter.
The physical part of it may be a bit messy, I'll admit that. But really no more dirty than a heavy workout where you're sweating heavily.
The emotional part of it is beautiful.

How would being near you or *dirty* sheets after sex mar her innocence in any way? It would be different if you were making her come in and watch or involving her in some way. THAT would be dirty and morally wrong. But she has no idea about the activities that have taken place. She IS innocent and will remain so until she's much older, understands and takes part herself.
Even with a toddler or a young child, even if they walk in and catch you in the act, they remain innocent because they don't understand. That's why so many parents can get away with telling the child it was a *special mommy/daddy hug* or that they were *wresting in a special mommy and daddy way*.

Sex is only morally dirty when it is forced on a person. When one partner is in any way unwilling. Between 2 (or more) consenting people who are fully prepared for and aware of the consequences, who are fully involved and willing in the act, sex is a GOOD, positive thing,
I don't expect that you make your daughter change her clothes after receiving a hug? Or that you change your clothes after receiving a hug and before you touch your daughter again? Sex is just another level on the tier of physical affection. What YOU do has no moral effect on her unless she is actually involved. And in this case, she's not involved at all.

5 Comments

View replies by

Maria - posted on 08/23/2013

39

0

2

Well a person would have a shower before going out or wash their hands before shaking some one elses hand or giving a friend a hug or passing them an object as it wouldnt berespectful to hand shake someone elses hand without washing. So maybe that means we should wash door handle afterwards if they have been touched after sex as other people might touch them. Im not fussy about germs i just mean about sexual germs to be respectful to other people. I know that they cant catch anything. Its like you wouldnt pick up a childs toy without washing your hands after sex before picking it up. Im just trying to see what other people do. I supose most people would wadh their hands straight after sex before holding or patting your child on the head even if you dont have time to shower. I have always felt that i should try and jump into the shower before cuddling my child and would always feel gulity if i didnt have time. But then i guess it ruins a realtionship if a wife rushed out of bed in the morning to wash before child wakes up.

Firebird - posted on 08/23/2013

2,660

30

521

Never really thought about it before. How would it be out of respect for the child when it was sex that created the child in the first place?

Maria - posted on 08/22/2013

39

0

2

Ive googled it and nothing came up so i decided to create a post. So you dont think it matters if the toddler climbs onto the bed as shes happy and tries to play or snuggle onto it. I feel tirn between not wanting to kill her joy and scoop her off the sheets to worrying about making her dirty as she us innocent. Then i feel like i should wash her and change her clothes even if the sheets look clean they will not really be. Im not fussy about germs only this kind as i think its dirty.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms