Liz - posted on 03/04/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )
Hi all... I am 31 year old mom of 2, my son is 10 and daughter is 7. I am recently married and the topic of having children is coming up quite often now, my husband is 32. Everyone wants us to have kids - especially our parents. My husband doesnt have any children of his own, but he has been amazing in stepping into the role of stepdad with us, his 'insta-family'. However, my kid's dad is relatively active in their life with the typical every other weekend arrangements and they adore their dad. My husband sometimes struggles with it because they truly are two different kinds of dads. (My husband, the great provider, true father-figure type, not the most touchy-feely-affectionate type, but truly loving in his own way. He takes them fishing, helps with homework, takes them mudding, encourages the sneaking in our bed to cuddle with us, has man-talks with my son, spoils the little princess, etc - very involved on a daily basis. Their dad is the very affectionate, funny, always ready for fun, 'let me smell you', jokester kind of dad - but not reliable, emotionally or financially) Needless to say, my kids are blessed. But my husband struggles with whether he will ever be good enough for them or even his own, especially because in a weird way, he wishes he was more affectionate and touchy-feely, loving with the kids and its just not in his nature to be (yet)... I think its something that comes with time, especially when you have your own. I feel he subconsciously compares himself with their dad and seeing how much the kids love him (while overlooking his faults) makes him feel some kind of way - as if a tad bit jealous? Like he will never be loved and respected the same way. With all of this, he also worries about what a baby would feel like when the older two have to go to their dads for the weekend and baby gets left behind. At first it wont matter, but hes worried it might become an issue the older the baby (babies) get. How do you guys deal with this? Would it be a good idea to bring in a baby to a semi-blended family? I would hate not to have our own babies and regret it later... Any insight would be appreciated.