Leann - posted on 07/08/2010 ( 32 moms have responded )
Before I met my husband now of almost 10 years......I met a man while I was going through a scary time in my life.....my father had been on life support for 3 months. I was an emotional person at that time. We got pregnant, and he left. He went back home to try to work it out with his daughter's mother. (which I knew all about) We both made irresponsible decisions during that 2 month "relations". He came back when our son was 2 months for a few days, then again when our son was 8 months old. Which was the time I had met my husband. I knew he would never be able to take care of our son like I wanted. So I made the decisions to go ahead with the relation of my now husband. Then four years later my husband and I got pregnant and my husband adopted my son before our daughter was born. And before he started kindergarten, so there would be no questions as to why he had a different last name. My husband and I have always talked openely about the what if's and when to tell, or not to tell. My son had asked many times "why is my eye color different" we always made up a story that's how God made you. Well now our son is 9 1/2 and is around kids with two sets of parents, starting to go through puberty. I'm affraid he will find out or figure out on his own, and I dont want the circle of trust to be broken between he and I. I hadn't been able to find his bio father for years, and now have found him. (I haven't talked to him), but just found him. I dont know if he has grown up in 10 years or not.....I know that his daughter is now 12, so my son also has another half sister. The question is do I or don't I tell, and how much should I say, and should I contact the bio father to see if he is interested or not. I have started to see a counselor to help me through this. I dont want to make a decision and regret it later, I'm trying to think this out fully before doing or not doing anything I might regret. I would love feedback on this. Espeacially if someone could relate to this, that would be great also. Thank you!