Showering with my daughter

Pamela - posted on 10/25/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have been doing a lot of research as to an appropriate age to stop showering with my daughter. She will be 11 in a few more months, and we still shower together on occasion. I love my alone time in the shower, but I have found my daughter is able to ask more questions about her body changing when we are showering together. She has already started blooming, and now has started grown hair where she thought was strange. By showering with me, she has no fear of asking questions about her changing body. She is not ashamed of her body, but I have also instilled the knowledge that her body belongs to her, and no one else. She understands privacy, and if she wasn't comfortable showering with me, she would let me know. She has also learned to respect others privacy. I would like to hear some others views on this sibject, because everything I read says either to stop by the time they ask questions, or are subject of showering with sons. Why would I stop just because she is asking questions? Isn't that how she will learn about the changes her body is going through? I was always uncomfortable with the way I looked as a preteen and it took until my late 20's before I became comfortable with how I looked naked. I don't want her to ever feel that way. She needs to know that every body is different and beautiful in its own way. She has seen me gain weight, lose weight, seen the stretch marks from when I was overweight as a teen, and the stretch marks that came from my pregnancy with her. She views all these marks as badges of courage and strength. How can this be a bad thing? Just want some other perspectives on this topic.

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Dove - posted on 10/25/2015

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I quit showering w/ my girls when they were 4 because there were two of them and not enough room in the shower. We have a very 'open door' policy in our home though and they have always been very comfortable w/ their bodies and asking questions... I also started talking about puberty and stuff when they were only 7... so all the changes were just common knowledge. They are almost 14 now.

I do not think there is anything wrong w/ showering w/ your child of any age as long as everyone is comfortable and personal space boundaries are respected, but it is also not necessary to shower w/ your older child in order for them to be comfortable w/ themselves.

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Pamela - posted on 10/25/2015

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I agree that it's not necessary for her to feel comfortable with herself, but I see it as an added benefit. In a world where girls are still encouraged to idolize barbie doll figures, and are still at an impressionable age, is it not a good thing for them to know what is more truthful? She still looks a me as a role model, and thinks I'm beautiful, flaws and all. I want her to always look at herself the same way. Feeling good about yourself leads to confidence in yourself.

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