shunned for divorcing a 3 time cheating dad

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

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So defeated and broken not much more i can take. Everything i believed were true has proven to be a stinken lie!! attended a church for around 18 years and really close to pastor and wife like adaughter kind of way. They were there during the first confession and pushed towards forgivenessl. I finally agreed because they know better than I. lots of counseling and dedication from me. 6 years later a boomerang hits!! and yes like a fool i try again why because thats what this church does.
Along with that is his porno crap! OMG 6 years later again I approach his obvious little signs of nasty comeing on and Finally get the courage to leave after cheating multiple times. What a FOOL am I. friends would comment telling him how they wished they had a wife like me!! Boy was I an idiot!
Child victim of being beat and molested from 3 of my moms husbands and survived the streets since 12 along with being a prostitute at 15 with a heroin addiction and refusing to become my mother!! Why because Im tough and can kick your A$$!
None of that choked me out and made me quit but this crap has destroyed me!
Not one church but 2 that I was loyal and dedicated in serving with no complaint rejectedme anddenied me of help when i needed it. WHY??? because I wanted a divorce and they dont condone that! Suddenly im the bad guy quitting? And a terrible mom now? th gradehless and accused of abandoning my family?!!
46 years old have 4 kids ranging from 5-19. have another daughter that is in heaven that would be 24 now. died when 4 years 10 months 3 days. our first born. Loyal to a fault. So much more to this but dont want to bore you..... im done i cant take it

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Dove - posted on 07/15/2016

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Humans are not God. Humans have turned their backs on you because they are just as screwed up as anyone else. GOD never does and never will. Cling to that. ♥

Michelle - posted on 07/15/2016

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You are a strong woman and you can get through this.
Like Shawnn said, some religions are very narrow minded and you have to follow like sheep.
Find somewhere that lets people be who they are and that welcomes everyone. You will find new friends that aren't told what to think all the time.
I was cheated on so I know how hurtful it is, hang in there for your children.

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2016

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I felt the same about being justified for divorce especially when forgiveness was given 2 previous times. I even made sure to seek council from 2 pastors wives prior to my decision. They both said they didnt condone of divorce but would love me no matter what. Exactly the opposite and in fact I have yet been able to identify the "what" .
Im sorry for whining and being negative i guess but ive got nothing that has proven otherwise. tnx for taking the time.

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2016

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thankful for your response and appreciate your prayers. Therapist is mandatory at this point. Not like i can vent or get any comfort from a friend since exiled. So yes i certainly agree but not sure Im going to be able to revisit my childhood. Seems they all want to dig up the graves for some reason which only come back to haunt me. I do know of Focus On The Family and a few speakers/leaders. To be honest Im not interested in nor do I trust anyone titled as Christians. No disrespect just from experience being im only accepted as long as I do as they say. At any expense even when its me or any other abusee. not just one church but 2 chose to turn the other way knowing of his doings and choices. Again no disrespect. Sure God could help another but clearly hates me for some reason.

Dove - posted on 07/14/2016

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I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I hope you can find a different, better church for support. Infidelity is the one marriage 'out' that IS Biblical. Hang in there!

Littlestarsmum - posted on 07/14/2016

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I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, mommy. My heart just ached as I read your post, and wish I could give you a hug - I just cannot imagine going through what you're experiencing. I just said a prayer for you and I hope that God will provide the comfort and help you need at this time. Do you think it would help to speak with a counselor? I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. It might be worth giving them a call.
Hugs!

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2016

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Thanks Shawna! just in shock still and reminded of it daily. seems as though my value and reputation was contingent on staying with him. Friends I absolutely without a doubt knew would be forever kicked me to the curb and wont let me see there kids anymore. As if Ive committed an unthinkable crime. I dont do drugs, drink, smoke, curse. I of all people have been rejected big time and by my own parents. He managed to take the heat off himself and burning me at the stake. confused and bewildered by it all.
He has a lawyer and I cant afford one. Intimidated and fearful knowing my education and lack of knowledge is affecting the outcome at court. Im not a vicious nor vengeful person and not at all selfish. why? cuz that would be allowing what has been done to me control me forever. Tomorrow is court and im defeated already. I have to move now because i cant survive where im at. On top of it all, my 3 kids living with me are medically fragile and have disabilities. never felt like quitting before!! Im ready to tap.....

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/14/2016

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Unfortunately, some religions can be very close minded and male oriented. Try a church outside the realm of Catholicism or latter day saints, and you'll find a better view.

You are NOT a bad mother! You have overcome hellacious obstacles, and you can come through this as well!

Awesome job on conquering your demons, Ms. Jodi! Keep your head up high!

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