Shy toddler

Phuong - posted on 06/26/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My daughter has always been shy around other adults and children as none of our friends have kids yet so she's always been around just Mum and Dad. She's been attending Childcare 2 days a week since she was 7 months old. She will be turning two very soon, but is still VERY shy. She won't speak outside of the home, but at home she talks all the time. Do any other parents face the same situation with their child? And if so, how do we get our little girl to come out of her shell... or is it just a matter of waiting until she's comfortable and ready?

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Myra - posted on 06/29/2010

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My 2yr old is the same way. She isn't in daycare or really around other kids aside from her 5mo old sister. But, at home, Starr-Hana is just talking all the time. She gives lots of hugs and kisses to everyone. She's just like me, and just doesn't seem comfortable around other people. I wouldn't really worry as long as your LO is able to communicate her wants, needs, and feelings to those she is around. IMO, people are far too pushy about children being outgoing...not saying it's a bad thing to be that way, but it just isn't something that's right for everyone; kids are no exception.

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Lavern - posted on 09/27/2012

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My daughter will be 3 in November and she sounds the same as your child. The funny thing is she is only reserved in school settings. In church we have to constantly keep her from joining the pastor on the pulpit. In most other settings she loves attention. I should rephrase that she loves attention in school also. She will happily do any activity you want her to do if you hold her hand and walk her to it. She just started this school 3weeks ago

Starla - posted on 09/26/2012

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today was the frst day she cried when i left her at daycare. even handed her off to her fav teacher and she still screamed for me to take her. that broke my heart

Chaunta - posted on 09/24/2012

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I thought that I was alone in this. My daughter is 3 and just started attending Headstart. This is the first time she has been away from home like this, she has never been in school before. Her teachers did not even know she could speak until they heard her talking to me one day after class. They were in shock, she now speaks but in a ver very low voice to where they can hardly hear her at all. She points and makes sounds before she will use her words. I have been told that she does not do anything for herself while at school, but at home I have to make her have a seat or tell her to stop talking so she can listen. I will wait as you all say and see what happens.

Starla - posted on 09/24/2012

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i have the same problem. my two year old is a chatterbox at home. but the moment we pull in the daycare parking lot it is like a switch goes off and she wont say a word. not even to tell me bye. i'm going to take everyone's advice and let her grow out of it. i hope it is sooner rather than later

Andrea - posted on 06/29/2010

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You have to wait for her to grow out of it. My son was the shyest toddler I have ever met and still yet to met one as bad as he was. The only people he would talk or even let touch him was me, my brother that I raise that lived with us, my cousin / babysitter. I couldnt even go to store with him unless it was a 24hr store to were I could go when it was kind of late and less people to many people in a room would freak him out. He was so bad I couldnt attennd my brother wedding because as soon as the Church started filling up he lost and had the biggest melt down. He never talked to someone outside the home. I even had to quite my job at one point because I could but in a normal daycare. He was an extreme case of shyness and strange anxiety. I had to just let him grow out of it and he started coming out o it about 4 which was good timing for preschool and he did the same thing with singing he still does and he 9. At a school program my son stands there and hardly even moves his mouth. The video I have from his preschool program he standing about a foot behind everyone with his head down not singing. He has grow out of it a lot. To the point I look at him when he's talking to someone and I just think I cant believe this is the same kid. Just give her time she grow out of it one day when you least expected she talk.

Phuong - posted on 06/29/2010

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Thank you all for your replies! Makes me feel a lot better :o) At Childcare when they are doing the group activities (for example, singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star") they tell us she has just started to participate, but when she sees they are looking at her, she puts her hands down and stops participating. I guess she is a very shy girl, and will be ready to talk in public when she's ready. Thanks again all.

Sherri - posted on 06/26/2010

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It is very normal it will most likely just be her personality. My son was even worse he didn't come out of his shell till 4th maybe 5th grade. My son was at school since 2 and still remained so quiet and shy in public. Would hide behind my leg and would never speak if we were in a group of people he would hide his face so he didn't even have to look at anyone. She will grow out of it but it may take quite a long time.

Amy - posted on 06/26/2010

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My son is very shy as well except he's not in daycare. We enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do in a tiger tots class when he was 3. He's now a yellow belt and a little more outgoing, although we still have our bad days. We try to expose him to different situations to help him adjust, once he becomes familiar he does very well. We never pushed him to speak or come out of his shell because when we do he becomes even more withdrawn and delays the process.

Louise - posted on 06/26/2010

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This is unusual because your daughter has been in childcare since a young age.Normally children that are in childcare are more confident. Try and involve her in different activities that involve you and her and lots of other people. Like story time at the local library or Gymbabies. She will pick her confidence up from seeing you relaxed around other people. I have the opposite problem with my daughter she will go off with any body quite happily and it scares me half to death.

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