Karol - posted on 07/07/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
I think I am going to crazy. I really think that I need to place my 27 year old son somewhere before I do. I have been dealing with this all of his life. I'm tired. I just can't do it anymore. I at least need a break. He just needs to go live somewhere else for a year or two. I thought that we left childhood behind but I can now see that we haven't. What he says and what he does are definitely 2 different things. After high school he went on to college and received a mechanical engineering degree. He couldn't find a job (I really don't think he tried very hard anyway). He then decided to go on to another engineering direction in Plastics. When he left for that college he wanted to live off campus. Signed up for classes, got a big fat student loan and is on both SSI/SSDI for his disability. He first lived with roomates in a house not far from the college. The roomates thought he was very untidy and not hygenic...they moved out. Then he decided that rather than "dealing" with roomates ; he would get a disability apartment. My husband and I helped him move. I placed boxes and things for him to unpack and make himself at home. A year later when I found out that he never went to class, ate everyday at McDonalds or Wendys and played video games to all hours of the morning....I gave up...his landlord called to tell me that he just couldn't stay. When I went to the apartment I was astounded to find that he never unpack a box other than the TV and Video games. The clothes he wore day in and day out were laundered weekly (ughh gross). It was if the only world he lived in was virtual. Here it is, 5 years later and he still lives in the virtual world only. His only responsibilities are to take out the trash, recycling and lawn care. I have to make him shower, I have to make him shave. I have to make him do everything any other normal living person just does because it's right and makes you feel better. He has only empathy for himself and his "friends" on the internet. His empathy is so much for them that Birthdays, Mothers Day etc. is forgotten but he sure celebrates theirs in virtual land. The sh*t hit the virtual fan today when for the 5th month in a row, my son has tried to placate me once again. As part of "independence" training and life skills I was to let him have his bank card to pay for bills and his needs etc. Which would be fine, but for my name attached to it as the representative payee on his SSI/SSDI. As some of you may know, the representative payee is responsible to make sure that his money is spent in a fashion that provides for his needs. Ok, i was willing to do that. Hey, I don't care if he wants to buy someone a birthday gift or for christmas or Hannaka or whatever. But when I saw the monthly charges for Amazon, for Loot Crate for Nerd Block and stuff wasn't being sent to OUR house, where the heck was it being sent? You see, his bunch of "friends" have taken him for a ride. He is buying his friends and that is pathetic. This month I found 4 payments to Western Union and a charge for an International House of Pancakes out in San Diego CA. He hasn't left the state of Florida for 3 years! Nope Nope. Not doing this anymore. He is NOT throwing me under the bus. I have to submit paperwork every year to state where this money is being spent and can be held financially and criminally responsible for misuse of funds. I can't go on like this. I need help.