Single. 7 months pregnant. In love with babies father

Rachel - posted on 03/13/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Ahh where do i start? First i will introduce myself. Im 22 years old, 27 weeks pregnant and single (since 3 months along) I'm not really sure why we broke up but it was mainly because of differences. I fell pregnant 5 months into our relationship and he is 25 and just not ready for a baby/cant seem to get over the situation that i kept the baby etc. Well in the past three months ive seen him three times but each time he acts so loving. Holds my hand, kisses my belly, talks to the belly, and we laugh and have a good time together (well at least this was the case when i saw him 3 days ago, he lit candles, put on a film, and ordered the two of us dinner. Yet usually in between those months he dissappears. He used to say he cares for the baby but cant say the same about me and needless to say that heartbroke me. Everyone tells me to cut him off but in my heart i truly feel like he will come around. He blames the reason we dont see each other on me never asking him to but i just dont want to force something he doens't want. When i went over monday it was probably the best time we have had together in a while because we didnt bring up drama and both were laughing and having a good time and the reason we even got to see each other then was because he thought i was dating someone else and asked if it was serious with him ? (wtf i know) so then he asked if he could come over and i said yes but long stroy short i ended up going to his place. ANYWAY my question here is..i want to see him and work on things...is it to much if i asked him if he wanted to come over tomorrow night after work? or should i ask him if his free this weekend ot go to a 4d sonogram with me?

I love him and this is so hard, and how he acts when we are together is all over the place. (we didnt kiss or anything) but still..

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/13/2014

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I guess it all depends on how well you can separate your feelings from him and wanting him to be part of the babies life. You have not had a very long time together before you became pregnant and who knows where your relationship would be today if you did not.

I personally would want him in the babies life, but not in my personal life unless he changed dramatically. BUT the change would have to come from him, and not me forcing him to change, because the relationship would surely fail in that case.

I understand you love him. I understand going through pregnancy is challenging in itself and quite lonely in your situation. BUT if the only reason he is coming around is out of fear of you finding someone else....yeah he would be kicked to the curb.

He has a baby on the way, and he pretty much abandoned you. Who is to say if you get back together he won't do it again? Pregnancy is cake compared to having a newborn at home, and if he cannot handle this, he will have an even harder time dealing with the child when he/she comes.

It still amazes me how men just can leave when a women is pregnant. It pisses me off to no extent.

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Rachel - posted on 03/13/2014

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Thank you so much for the advice! The hardest part is that I want to see him and be with him but I dont want to feel like an idiot asking him to hang out if he doesn't want to ..at the same time he says the reason i never see him is becuase i never ask so maybe i will just put my pride aside and suggest it

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