Single mom

Laura - posted on 01/13/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom who is afraid to not marry my babys father for fear of being single all my life. I know I would tell my brothers not to marry a woman with a baby, or anyone else with baggage, so I know my options in life are very narrow.

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Trisha - posted on 01/13/2015

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I wouldn't say you two are paying a price. :) You got a wonderful lil baby out of it. Honestly, I considered leaving my husband (when things were super tough) getting pregnant and raising the baby alone with the support of my family.
I was tired of waiting for the 'right man' to decide they were ready to have kids.
The right man, who wanted kids, would eventually pursue me. I wanted a family and I wanted to start then.
I know it is tough right now, but you need to change your perspective. Pessimism never got anyone anywhere.

Laura - posted on 01/13/2015

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Thank you Trisha....I was a stupid 29 year old who should have known better, but I was engaged and felt like i was in love......now my child and i will pay the price.

Trisha - posted on 01/13/2015

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I have seen many of my high-school friends marry men who were not the fathers of their children. Do not let the birth of your child keep you in an unhappy relationship.
I don't want to say "don't try", but I also don't want you hear that you are only doing it out of fear.
If you want to get into a successful relationship then be a successful mother who can obviously take care of herself and her child.
The right men at that point won't see your child as 'baggage', but simply another reason that you are more beautiful and put together.
The single moms that men don't like are melodramatic, cause problems for themselves and are after their exes for money/child support constantly. I am not saying you shouldn't be asking for child support, but just be mature about the whole situation. Come to an agreed amount and leave it at that. Try to make informed, logical decisions rather than be lead be emotion.
Lots of women who were once single-moms are successfully blending families with successful, supportive men.
Good luck!

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