Single Mom Needs some Advice

Afton - posted on 12/29/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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So this is my situation! bear with me its quite long. i found out that i was pregnant this summer! it was a total surprise as i was not supossed to be able to even conceive due to multiple medical conditions that would stop me from doing so. i told my boyfriend at the time and he was excited and i was scared! (he is already a father to a 3 yo girl) things were going great for awhile. we lived 3 hours away from each other so we were alternating weekends driving out to see eachother. (we both worked fulltime) when i was about 3 months pregnant, i found out that my aunt (who is like my older sister) that her cancer had returned and metastized to nearly 90% of her body! i was devastated and told my boyfriend that i needed to spend more time withmy family, her and her 2 children. in august the hospital called all her family in and notified them that we had 2 hours left with her. i had to run to hospital and be there with family and to help care for her children, she made it another week but we stayed there the whole time i took care of the kids the whole time. while i had them i didnt want them to see me cry! so when i could escape for a second i would ball my eyes out. i called my boyfriend to try to get comfort and all he could say was "i needed to Fing control myself! That my family was too much drama for me and that i needed to leave my family and drive 4 hours to be with him and his family!" not something i took lightly to hearing! when i told him i wasnt gonna leave he told me said that i was a lazy girlfriend, i was gonna be a lazy mother!" i told him basically that i needed time to myself that i couldnt handle all of this at the same time and that right now my family needed me and i needed them.

week goes by and he texts me saying that he will not be helping with anything for the baby ( no prep stuff at all ) untill he got a dna test because since i left him he doesnt think its his baby.
ok fine you pay you can have!

i had to change my number because of harrassing text calls at all times of the night every night. gave him my house number and my email.

harrassing emails started, saying he needs to know how his son and i are. (not born yet)

but now its been 2 months and no contact at all i have tried contacting him to give updates as he as asked me to yet no response.

am i wrong if i want to do this alone? with my family of course, but i dont want him involve?. the court system took his daughter from a previous relationship away from him due to his admitted drug and alchol usage. (didnt know bout this till we ran court search)

Please help!

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Kristyn - posted on 12/29/2012

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He sounds like he is not rad for the comitmit of having a child. If you are doing well on your own and have support from your family (and/or) friends, then I say forget about him for the time being. Unless he comes to you and says he is ready for a relationship with his child then you should not contact him. The more support the better. And if you need some feel free to message me!

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