Single mom of two, been divorced for almost four years. I have not been able to find a good guy, what's wrong with me??

Janie - posted on 03/04/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

5

0

0

I'm a 35 year old with two boys, one's 17 the other 7. Dating is so hard for me, it seems like there are no good men out there. The men that approach me are either too young or involved with someone else. It's been 4 years and it's been disappointment after disappointment, I'm starting to think there might be something wrong with me. Is anyone else having this problem??

6 Comments

View replies by

Janie - posted on 03/04/2014

5

0

0

Thank you Evelyn for sharing your story. I agree, I will continue to find other things to fill that void. I to have started school after being out for nearly 17 years (SCARY). My oldest will also be graduating the next coming year, also a very scary thing for me, exciting but scary. Once again, thank you!!

Ev - posted on 03/04/2014

8,045

7

918

Janie, I know how that feels. I was married to a man I thought loved me for 12 years before he decided to up and leave one day. After that life was hell. Not only did we divorce a few days before we were married 13 years all together, I had to make a choice and allow my kids to go live with him in a joint custody because 1) I had no funds to continue the fight, 2) the kids had suffered enough and needed the stable knowledge that they would be with one of us and see the other often, 3) I could not make them pawns, and last 4) it was in their best interest. I had people actually trying to get me set up for dates and I was not wanting any of it in the first couple of years after the divorce. Then some tried to set me up but the guys they picked out were younger and full of themselves so what was the use to date a guy who thought only of himself? Next, I went through a phase of I want to be with someone but I don't. And then about five years after divorce and all, I got to the point where I did not want anyone. I felt fine the way I was. And during all this I was finding myself. I still am. I am back in school and my youngest is about to graduate high school in the next year. I fulfill my life with my kids, friends and family. I find things that become hobbies to me or just something to do. So, my suggestion is to find something that you love to do and make it a hobby...and maybe you might meet someone that way. But in the long run, take care of yourself and your family! Good Luck!!

Janie - posted on 03/04/2014

5

0

0

Thank you, your words are very incouraging. I was married with for 12 years, that relationship was none exsistant, we got married because I got pregnant. I have been mom and dad for 17 years, I guess I need some one to make me feel wanted. My kids and I are very close, but they will grow up and start their own lifes, I guess I worry since I've never had a "relationship". But, you are right and I do concentrate only on my boys. It just gets lonely sometimes.

Ev - posted on 03/04/2014

8,045

7

918

There is nothing wrong with you at all. But you have to stop worrying about having a man in your life when you have two that need you more than any grown man does. Concentrate on those boys of yours. They need you more. I only am saying this because I made the conscious choice 12 years ago not to date nor get involved romantically with a man because I have two kids that needed their mother more than I needed a man in my life. I also had a lot of issues about being close to a man other than a friend anyway. During that 12 years, I was able to connect even more so with my children and allow our bonds grow even more. And today, I am able to say that my kids are very close with me and our relationship has never been better. Do I want to have a man in my life? I am fine the way I am. I know some women want to have that relationship with a man. But hun, you need to give yourself more time than just four years to get yourself healed and moved on somewhat before trying to worry about another relationship. Just trust me, your kids will love you for it.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms