Erin - posted on 04/01/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
Ok, here is the background: I'm a single mom with a 20 month old son. We share a room out of necessity and have co-slept in my bed since he was born. He has never had a crib, but he does have a toddler bed in our room. We also have a pack & play, but we don't use it much and he would never sleep in it.
Recently, I have decided that Jackson needs to sleep in his own bed because he is hurting me at night and i spend 1+ hours per nap/bedtime just trying to get him to fall asleep and stay asleep so that i can leave the room. He usually falls asleep quickly, but he wakes up and cries while i try to leave. I used to lay with him in bed, in the dark, with his sound machine on, until i read about sleep training and decided to sit in a nearby rocking chair while he falls asleep, to make it easier to sneak out. it doesn't make it any easier. he is up and screaming before i'm out, it's like he can sense me or something! Then, I moved him into his toddler bed just for naps and tried to sit nearby until he fell asleep. same problem. Lately, I've been trying to get him to fall asleep by himself in his toddler bed. We have lunch, read a story, give hugs and kisses, i say goodnight, time for Jackson to take a nap in his bed! But he just gets up and comes out to find me (within 5 seconds of me closing the door). At night, he climbs out of my bed and comes out. Last night it took 2.5 hours of this, before i gave up and went to bed with him. Today, he did this for 2.5 hours again, before i gave up and let nap time be over. When he gets out of bed, I quietly walk him straight back in, lay him back in bed, say it's nap time, good night and walk out. If i leave the door open or cracked, he comes out to find me and cries. if i shut the door, he goes and stands by the door and cries until i come back and walk him back to bed. the longest that i've left him stand by the door is about 20 minutes until i came back and got him back into bed. but after he stands by the door screaming, i can feel him shaking, crying hysterically, cold hands and feet, hot head, runny nose, soaked clothes from crying when i put him back to bed. I don't know if i am doing this all wrong or if he is stubborn or if im screwed and am a slave to my toddler. This seems detrimental and i don't know how else to have him sleep on his own :( Please offer advice!!
(PS- I do not have anyone else's help, so please do not suggest this. Also, I work in the afternoon with him, so our days/nights are pretty flexible)