Single Mom with 13 year old son

Ann - posted on 08/08/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Things are changing so fast with my son in the last few months.
I'm a single Mom and his father floats in and out of my son's life here and there, but
isn't supportive at all... besides the occasional chicken wing restaurant outing. I'm noticing my son is starting to spend a lot of time in the shower and in his room with
his door shut. I know what he is doing.. I won't get into how I found out, but I just don't
know if I should talk about it with him or just leave him alone? I am a bit in shell shock. 13 seems to young to be starting with things like that. Anyone have any advice or similar things going on with their sons?

11 Comments

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Rak - posted on 08/12/2016

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I am a mom of 12 year boy. For me, it is quite natural nothing to worry. But, my son, likes to walk out of shower or room in naked, that is what the worrying thing for me. Make sure, your son aware of hygiene and cleanliness. You can check it and ensure while he is showering, I do the same.

Leslie - posted on 08/08/2016

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Oh boy...yup, sounds like puberty and sounds like some normal boy behavior too. Be thankful he shuts his door! And takes showers......LOL!!! You should definitely talk to him and help him to know that you want to keep the communication doors open between the 2 of you and let him know he can come to you and ask ANYthing -- yes, you might be embarrassed but in the long run you'd rather he get the info from YOU than from his friends, online, etc.
Here's some good info that you can look at to help - http://bit.ly/2bf7ACa

Dove - posted on 08/08/2016

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LMCBW... you are under 5 foot too? Cool. :) I am hoping the boy won't be taller than me til he's at least 11... He's got less than a foot to go. The girls were taller than me by 11.5-12, so... lol

Ann - posted on 08/08/2016

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They change soooo fast. He has always been my buddy. We would do everything together. Go to the beach all the time. Now I have to convince him to go with me. Old Mom has become boring. Enjoy every day when they are little and want to be Mom's buddy. They grow up way too fast.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/08/2016

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LOL my son is 10 like I said and almost my height! I am just under 5 foot. By the end of 5th grade I fear he will be taller!

Yes, important to keep the lines of communication open!

Dove - posted on 08/08/2016

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Good luck! I was watching this post, but don't have anything to add as my son (I'm also single and his father really isn't involved) is only 8... Open and honest communication is always best though.

Ann - posted on 08/08/2016

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I want to sit him down and talk about things and see if he has any questions. I guess I was just stuck thinking he was still my little boy. In the last few months he not only has gotten taller than me (I'm only 5'2"), but his body and voice are changing. I need to step
up because his father clearly won't and I'm not so sure I would want him to if he offered
or was willing. And my son is the same way as you said yours is. He will talk about things with me he says he can't discuss or be honest with his father about. He sees him
very seldom and he's told me he can't be totally honest with him because he's afraid
he'd see him even less. It's a sad situation. Thank you so much for communicating with
me about this. It feels better knowing someone else out there understands. Now it's time for me to woman up!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/08/2016

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I got my period at 11 yrs old, and had boobs. It was rough being so young. Boys start puberty around the age he is typically, which means erections and exploration of said erections. It really is normal. You are not doing anything wrong by educating him about his body. The library also has great books for him to read, and for you to familiarize yourself with how to address this. It is a sensitive and embarrassing subject when we make it that way. My son is 10, and I am going to have the talk with him before school starts in September. He already knows a lot about his body and things to expect, but we have not gotten into the nitty gritty details. And let me tell you, the things we have discussed, he wants to talk with me about and not his father (we are married and all living in the same home, and we also have a 6 year old girl). He feels more comfortable and open with me.

Ann - posted on 08/08/2016

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I totally agree it is up to me 100%. I appreciate your response though.. He has had sex ed in school and understands some. I just didn't want to do the wrong thing by talking to him about what he is doing and make him feel embarrassed etc. I also wasn't sure about his age and if this was "normal". I hate to use the word normal. But usual for his age? I think back to when I was 13 ( a long time ago ) and I just don't remember being at that point at the same age. He asked me to teach him to shave yesterday too. Things
are happening SO fast! He's seems fine.. I'm the mess!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/08/2016

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He is going through puberty and his body is changing. This is NOT to young to "do that". You should definitely sit and talk with him about his changing body, privacy, sex, and respecting girls that are going through the same thing. Don't forget to review what happens with girls too. Has he had sex ed in school yet? Please talk with your son now so he doesn't get misinformation from his peers especially if they have not had sex ed in school. Regardless of his father situation, this should be addressed by you since you are with him all the time. You cannot rely on his father, and neither can he. Don't leave it up to a fair weather parent to explain sex to your child.

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