single moms...?

Kristen - posted on 01/11/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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so my ex has nothing to do with our 5 1/2 month old son, never calls to check on him, never asks to see him, doesnt pay child support (yet), basically pretends that he doesnt exist... is there any way to make him sign over his rights without him having to agree to it? he is on the birth cirtificate and has gotten served with the child support papers from dfs, but id much rather have him sign over his rights...

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Jacquelyn - posted on 08/20/2012

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hi my name is jacquelyn hall and the reason why that i reply because i want to put my son father up for child support again because i dont think he really to the test i did look up his information and they cant find no information on him i think he trick me i did reopen the case again but he dont know i did im going to out slick him also my son is twenty four years old he wants to know whos his father

LaTorie - posted on 01/11/2010

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I understand the feeling. I asked my sperm donor to sign over his rights and he had a fit. But, he doesn't call or come around. Girl just deal with the fact he doesn't come around. Your child will eventually see that he is nothin. Mine is 12 and doesn't mention her dad anymore. His family doesn't have anything to do with her. She doesn't want to see any of them. Good Luck!!!

Iysha - posted on 01/11/2010

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If you explain that if he signs over his rights he won't need to pay child support then he might be into it. Then again, you won't get child support....but even if he doesn't give up his parental rights, you may still not see a dime. I know tons of single mothers who never see a dime even with court ordered child support. You can't get parental rights taken away without his consent unless he does something bad to your child. I know a mother who got her parental rights taken away and it took a long time and her kids had to go through a lot for that to happen. It just happened this year and her oldest child is 3. The first time she was interviewed by CPS was when her oldest child was about 3 months. So yeah, it takes a while and is very stressful.

Lorraine - posted on 01/11/2010

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When my daughter was 5 I petitioned the court to have her last named changed to mine(she had no contact with her father for 3 years at that point). I had to post a legal notice in the local paper stating what I was petitioning, and send a notarized letter by certified mail to his last known address letting him know what I wanted (luckily he was no longer at that address). Then I went before the judge. When he found out it had been 3 years with no contact, and that he had never paid child support, he grante the name change and asked if I wanted full rights taken from her father. Of course I said yes, so his rights were terminated that day.

This has been 11 years ago, so don't know if things would still happen this way. Also I live in Michigan. Don't know if my story will help any, but good luck!!!

Danielle - posted on 01/11/2010

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By court law he has to be willing to sign over his rights and in some states they will only do it if there is an adoption set up for the child.

Melissa - posted on 01/11/2010

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I want my son's father to do the same so that my fiance can adopt him once we are married. I have done some research and it might be different in your state. But in New York state, if he does not sign over his rights, you can take him to court and if you can prove that he has had no contact with your child then the courts can relinguish his rights. That is the route that I am going to have to take. Hope this helps. Best of luck!!

Tanille - posted on 01/11/2010

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If you have him sign over his rights you may not get child support. So you may want to hold off on getting him off of the birth certificate for now

Gwen - posted on 01/11/2010

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It might be easier to have his visitation rights terminated than his parental rights.

This way, you can still collect child support, but he has to jump through a lot of hoops if he wants to prove to the court that he deserves visitation.

Patty - posted on 01/11/2010

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The only way to get him to give up his parental right is by going to court and ordered by a judge. My daughters father is not on her birth certificate but is paying child support and i have asked if it was possible to to have his parental rights taken away since he has never even seen her, unfortunately it has to go through the court system.

Rosie - posted on 01/11/2010

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with me, i just terminated his parental rights in october of 09. my son is 9 years old and has never seen him, he didn't pay child support. i live in iowa so laws may be different where you are, but for me they made it seem very hard to terminate rights with out their consent. i went in to talk to a lawyer about this and they told me if you are not planning on having someone else adopt him-like my husband did, it would be very difficult, especially if you are on title 19 (like i am). the state wants 2 people to be responsible for the child (i thought that was ridiculous since obviously i was the only one responsible for him), but they mean legally responsible. and this was with his bio dad just jumping at the guns at a chance to sign over his rights!!
i was told by my lawyer that if he were to change his mind somehow and not want to terminate his rights that there would have to be overwhelming evidence that he was a danger to my child. abuse of some sort.
hopefully it's different where u live. best bet is to have a talk with a lawyer about it, my inital consultation where all my questions were answered cost $90. good luck!!!

Lisa - posted on 01/11/2010

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I am a single mom also. I have a 14 year old and a 1 year old. I wish the 1 year olds father would leave me alone. He was ordered by the court to pay $75 a week in child support. This was a temporary order and it comes directly out of his paycheck weekly. We went back to court in September where he was final ordered to pay $165 a week. I had an order of protection against him which the judge terminated in September saying that she didn't see anything in his body language that said he was a threat to me or my family. Meanwhile back in January last year after my 1 year old was born, he threatened my 14 year old. That was the main reason for my order of protection. Now that the order was terminated, he constantly calls and texts me which is getting to the point of harrassment. He has court ordered visitation with the baby where he comes to my house to pick up the child and I go to his to bring the child home. The child clings to me when he gets picked up and cries hysterically when he is put in the father's car. This, of course, breaks my heart because the child is ordered to go. Anyway, this past weekend, the 1 year olds father had me served papers to appear in court at the end of this month. He claims that he cannot afford the $165 a week and that it's an unfair judgement because it doesn't take into consideration his other children. Meanwhile his other children are 24, 22 and 18. I don't care about the child support because I can take care of the baby without it. I just want him to leave me alone. I have a lawyer and every time we go to court, the judge yells at her. I feel like the judge feels sorry for him because he represents himself and here I am with my own lawyer. I have documented the fact that after every visitation my child ends up in the pediatrician or emergency room. The judge turned it on me saying it was probably something I did as a parent and not the father. I kick myself everyday for getting involved with a person like this. I just want him to go away. He wants visitation from Friday to Sunday. He was not there while I was pregnant and he wasn't there when I went into labor 6 weeks early. The baby was born premature and with a problem with his leg. He has a milk allergy and is on soy formula. I am court ordered to type up instructions for the father but he never follows them anyway. It's an awful situation. I would love for him to give up his rights but I know he never will. Sadly, I can see I'm not alone in this situation.

Rabecca - posted on 01/11/2010

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I think it may really depend on where you live I also wanted to terminate my sons fathers rights hes only seen him maybe 5 time in the last 9 years never paid child support eventhough its court ordered but it goes in birth order and well my son is the youngest of his fathers kids and his child support adds up to more than 50% of his income so older kids get it first then if there is any left over the younger ones lets just say I have never seen even one dollar. So anyway I wanted to terminate his rights he has no bond with my son and my son really doesnt have one eaither he thinks of him amybe like you would an uncle you hardly ever see nice but no true connection so I looked into terminating his right as because for one it would stop his debt one child support which I want but dont need to survive and his other children do need it way more . but was told bacically he has to willingly give up his rights and because my son was on state medical at the time I cant have him do that unless someone else it taking that one as far as another man adopting him .

Now that my son no longer has medical through the state I looked into it one one time because I am remarried and my husband really wants to adopt him but was told basiclly again he has to give up rights and the only way I cant force him to and he will not do it I thinkhes afraid I would keep him away from him or change his name which is not what I want at all he could still have acess to his son if he wanted and I never planned to change his name I just wanted to insure that if anything ever happend to me he would stay with the father who raised him and the only father he really knows and any future siblings he may have I am heartbroke to think he would be taken out of his home and put with a vertual stranger if for some reason something happend to me he has lived with his stepdad for 6 years now and always says I wish you were my only dad or how bout we call my real dad my exdad but I was told by the stae that if he has no contact with his bio dad for 18 months that I can change him with abondondment and the state will terminate his rights but he always seems to call or send a letter something right before that time is up and he can fight it and if he wins he can push for more rights and he lives about 9 hours away so in the case that it doesnt go my way I would be responsible to help transport him at least half way for his visatation regardless if I am getting child supporrt because the two are seperate things one does not determine the other . so we are kind of still up in the air about what to do really want him to willingly give up his rights it seems really bad to have the stae do it hes not a bad guy just not a great dad just really into himself and thast about it and the distance he lives away is a factor with that as well and I know hes scared I could just keep him from him but I would never ! do such a thing but of course hes scared because thats a huge concern for him but I really think all states have different laws about parental rights and yes if hes not on the birth certificate he doesnt have any yet anyway but if you are on any kind of assisdtnce they will eventaully press the issue and if you name him or he goes after visatation he will have to pay for the pateriny tests and then seek visatation that kind of thing so keep us updated

Laurie - posted on 01/11/2010

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i have trying as well to get my first husband to sign over rights to my oldest son and have yet to get him to he broke my sons arm at 2 months never got charged has not paid child support or bothered to try and get visitation but refuses to sign over rights i think the only thing to do is to take him to court prove that he is an un fit parent of coarse that costs money as weel so it sux but might be worth i, also if your on county assistance they will try to force him to pay child support by taking him to court at there expense and also take away his license and shit coarse my ex doens,t have a license to take away and right now he owes me over 11 thousand dollars and owes the county just over 12 thousand for child support

Hayley - posted on 01/11/2010

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is he on the birth certificate?? if he is not he does not have any rights but can gain them by taking you to courtbut its a very expensive route for men and many just cant be asked

i have the same problem with my both my childrens fathers (i know how to pick them ha ha )

my daughtes dad just stays away now we never hear from him and thats how it has stayed

i hope all works out for you x x

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