SINGLE MOMs advice!My daughter is 1yr 1/2, father is just now..

Ashley - posted on 12/22/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




I am a single mom to my 18 mo. old daughter. Her dad and I dated briefly when lived at the beach for a summer. Long story short we broke up right when I was maybe 3 months pregnant and he never contacted me after. 'I guess did not want to be involved which I didn't care at the point because I did not end up liking him.

My daughter now, is 18 months old. earlier this year the very beginning of April her father had sent me a letter saying he would like to send me a monthly support check and to let him know how much.
I never responded to him because I was scared and nervous he would want to get involved after sending money.

So I just recently messaged him wondering if he would like to still send money. He said he would like to work something like that out but if I want solely money from him then he requests a DNA test done prior to sending a check and to think of a number, he also asked me what am I comfortable with his involvement being with THE child.(word for word, he said that)

I have a meeting with a lawyer tomorrow just to see what his rights would be and what I should do.(hes not on the birth certificate) Honestly if he would be willing to send a little money just for her support and stay out of the picture I would be just fine with that. He obviously does not care nor want to be in her life for the love..

I need some advice..anyone?


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Michelle - posted on 12/26/2015




Your lawyer will tell you that as the Father he has as much right to a relationship to his child as you do. Your child is NOT a possession that you can dictate who sees her and when.
Your lawyer will also advise that you go to court to determine custody, visitation and child support. Child support and visitation are 2 completely different issues and even if he doesn't pay support, he can still see his child.
You made the choice to have unprotected sex with this man and it resulted in a child that will tie the 2 of you together forever (yes, beyond just 18 years). The sooner you learn to co parent and allow your daughter's Father to have a relationship with her the better.
Why is it obvious that he doesn't want to be in her life for the love?

Dove - posted on 12/26/2015




So you want to use your innocent child as a pawn for money, but don't think she deserves to know HER father?!

Read the custody post pinned at the top of the page. All the man needs is a DNA test (which he can get a court order to get one if you refuse him) and he is entitled to fight for 50/50 custody in court. It's your daughter's legal and moral right to a relationship w/ her father. You liking or not liking the man is 100% irrelevant.

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