Char - posted on 01/30/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
Not all single moms are alike. Many differences exist based on socio-economic status or where and how one chooses to live. However, one distinct difference that sets me and others apart from the rest is when we, as single moms, have no extended family we can rely upon, for whatever reason.
I was estranged from my family at the time my son was born. My sons father was an older black man. My family, except for my mom, called him "nigger" and me "nigger lover" and wouldn't have anything to do with us when I was dating him.
I thought they were acting like ignorant hillbillies and couldn't understand why all the backlash against me. You would think a civilized and decent family would invite us to dinner and try and get to know him and if they didn't like him, voice their concerns. But not my family.
Things only got worse for me when I got pregnant. He beat me and abandoned me and my son. It was me and my son against the world, or so it seemed. I loved my son and wanted the world for him. I put myself through college in hopes to set a good example for him so he would know if there was anything he wanted to be or to do in life or any goal he wished to attain, he could.
My mother drew close to us but was fighting her own battle with cancer so we didn't get to see much of her. She died before my son turned three.
It was sad when my son came home from preschool to announce how he "didn't have a dad to talk about with his preschool friends, who always talked about their dads."
Every moment with my son counted. Outside of school and work, we went roller skating, camping, fishing, hiking, joined in library fun, tennis, swimming, crafts, and I never tried dating to "find him a substitute father." That would only take precious time away from my son.
A neighbor who was a single dad of one of my son's classmates approached me and a parenting partner was born! His daughter and my son soon began acting like siblings and they were either with her dad or me. It was not an intimate relationship, just a good support system for our kids. Prayers were answered.
There are people who can develop bonds with you and your child who may need the same as you.
It was wonderful for 8 years of our life to have "family."
It can happen to you and your child. Don't give up hope!