Single mother

Kelly - posted on 07/15/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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The father of my child got another girl pregnant while I was still carrying his son, it's been a yr now and I let him see our baby for his first birthday, I tried my hardest to be civil so my son can have his father in his life. Thing is, he is still with that girl and their baby living in the place I did everything to get so that our son can have a home when he is born.. He's given this girl everything I ever wanted for our son and has witnessed my pain n struggle. Only to tell me he want me n my baby but won't leave her. I feel so lost confused and broken. Please help me! :'(

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APPHIA - posted on 07/17/2013

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Never settle for less he does not respect you because he would have never gotten someone else pregnant he wants to have his cake and eat it too , unless he is willing to be with only you I think your better off by yourself , yes it's going to be hard but you would find someone who would love both you and your child ... Stay strong I know exactly what your going through

Jodi - posted on 07/15/2013

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Child support and visitation are two different things. Firstly, if you want child support, file for it. But you can't use this as a reason not to allow a relationship between your child and his father. Your child is not a commodity and should not be held hostage at a price from his father. In the long term, your child will not thank you for this and may even resent you. Pursue legal avenues for child support and consider setting up a visitation schedule between father and child as two separate issues.

Felicia - posted on 07/15/2013

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Kelly
People may not agree with me but you don't need his permission for child support. This money is his obligation and is needed by your child. Do not let your love for this man blind you regarding support. File for support legally as soon as possible.

Jodi - posted on 07/15/2013

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It isn't "your" baby. That is the baby of both of you. He shouldn't have to be given an ultimatum by you that he can only have contact with HIS child if he leaves the other woman. I understand you are hurt. That's okay, you have every right to feel hurt. But that is not your child's problem. The choices he made are not your child's fault. You need to look at it from the perspective of your child - don't you believe your CHILD has a right to get to know and have a relationship with BOTH parents?

You need to just accept that he has made the decision he has made, be the best mother you can, and begin a co-parenting relationship with the father. As a father, he does have rights, and your child also has rights.

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Baby - posted on 07/18/2013

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That's a hard one....very difficult decision... so maybe wait to make a big decision like that, hold on, wait a year or so and then start planning how to move forward. Im so sorry.. at least you can look back and say you gave your boy a chance to have his father around, and that's a selfless thing to do...you never know, things may get better...it's worth trying..

Kelly - posted on 07/15/2013

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Yes! I have put my feelings aside. Done some healing so that this wont won't come between my son having his father aside. But it is him who said he still has feelings for me. Before he left I asked if we can talk about him paying child support because I have let him see our son before an after finding out about his other life. I know it in my heart not to be selfish and now I hope he can help me financially without having to be with him

Felicia - posted on 07/15/2013

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Hi..I hope that you start to feel better soon..try to concentrate on your love for your child more than your hate and hurt for your ex...it will get better.

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