Single Mothers - need some advice please!

Alexia - posted on 02/15/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm currently six months pregnant with my first child and my ex partner is frequently using hard drugs and gambling.
what are my rights regarding refusing visitation or requesting random drug tests!
i wont put my daughter at risk by letting her be alone around him in that state.
I cant personally prove any of it so going to the police or to a court seems like it would be ineffective until there is some sort of order in place.
He has a history of domestic violence and i have an AVO relating to this but it does not cover my daughter.
has anyone been in a similar situation ? how can it be handled???
Thanks ladies! xxx

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Jodi - posted on 02/16/2015

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You don't have any rights to refuse him visitation, but the courts can do that if there is evidence he is potential harm to the baby. But if you choose to refuse him the visitation, he could claim parental alienation, and if you don't have evidence of your claims, you could lose custody.

I would suggest you talk to a lawyer now so that you have custody papers ready to go. If he is wanting to have visitation with his child, you can build in supervised visitation only (it may be through a third party) as an option. You could also request drug tests - does he have any drug related arrests and convictions?

Given the baby will be in infant, if you are planning on breastfeeding, visitation would generally be limited, although that is not guaranteed.

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Ledia - posted on 02/16/2015

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Unfortunately, Jodi is correct.
Because he is the biological father, he has the same rights to visitation and custody that you have until you get a court order that dictates the terms of custody and visitation between the two of you.

It is very important that you speak with your lawyer ASAP so that when the baby is born, you have everything ready to be filed. If you have proof that he might be a danger to the child, you can probably get supervised visitation. Always ask for a little more than you expect to be given because the judge almost always asks the parents to compromise, so make sure you have something to give up that you don't mind giving up.

I don't know about requesting drug testing. I have never heard of drug testing being done for visitation rights here in the US, but perhaps it is different in other countries. I do know that if you are the one demanding the drug tests, in the US, you would be the one paying for them, because visitation with his son is considered an inalienable right--you can't take it away unless he causes harm to the child, or voluntarily give up his rights--unlike public assistance or a job, which you have to earn the right to have.

All in all, talk to your lawyer. He or she will be able to help you get the best arrangement for your child.

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