JuLeah - posted on 03/06/2011
If you are still hoping and dreaming of a relationship with one person, it is unkind to get involved with another.
I guess, if you were honest, "I dream about this other person, but you'll do in the meantime." or "I really want this other guy, but you are willing to do the work, so we can be together"
If that is the kind of relationship ou want/want your kids to learn from. And, if he is okay with it, why not. Who can't use an extra set of hands?
Or maybe you ought try it on your own for a time. You don't 'need' any man. You don't have to have a relationship. And, you deserve to have a relationship with a person you want to be with, who you love and adore. You don't have to settle.
As a mother, you have to do the thinking for your family...not just yourself. My grandmother used to say, "it's just as easy to love a rich one as it is a poor one."
I suggest you think with your head instead of your heart.
Find a logical stance...and stick to it. Make a list of good and bad for both men. (that is what helped me stick to my guns when I had to get away from my 'fantasy man')
Keep your baby in the front of your mind...and make your decisions based on what is best for HIM.
Christina - posted on 03/06/2011
I stayed with my son's father for two years after he was born (we were ready to split up until we found out that I was pregnant) it just delayed the inevitable... The man that I am with now was my best friend for most of my relationship with my son's father, he stepped up and takes care of both of us. He tells people that Lucas is his and has said that if anything ever happens between us that he wants to still be able to see Lucas and help me take care of him.
Sometimes its best to let go of something that isn't working to try something that could. But, make sure that it is working before you really involve your child. They get confused easily and it can be hard for them to have to lose another father figure.
Louise - posted on 03/06/2011
If you are not in the right mind to have a relationship with this guy then it is not fair for you to except help from this guy if you have no feelings for him. He is providing for your child because he thinks there is a relationship there for him. If this is not the case then you should not string him along. Make your feelings known to him. If you still hold a torch for your ex then it is not right to enter into any relationship with anybody else until you have got over the ex.
This guy you are with is not stupid he will figure out that all is not well and when he does things could be nasty.
Be honest to him and yourself!
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