single parent during pregnancy

Kirsten - posted on 09/27/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




my childs father is not supportive at all during my pregnancy im so scared and worried and angry and deperssed his not showing much interest at all his my ex boyfriend who now just wants to be friends all we do is fight im worried about how this will affect my un born baby im 25 and this is my first pregnancy pls help any one


Ariana - posted on 09/27/2013




I know a lot of people don't take this advice but I would suggest seeing a councellor, maybe even only once a month, so that you and your ex can talk about things or parenting issues etc. with a partial professional.

I knew a family where the parents divorced and then both remarried and had multiple kids (from both sides). These parents worked together and went to councelling to help keep a healthy relationship for everyone in the family.

Would you and he be willing to do this? You can simply tell him the truth, there seems to be a lot of strain right now and that's BEFORE the baby is born and you would like to be able to work with someone who can help you two work together. Put it in as positive a light as you can.

If he is resistant ask him that if you picked three councellors to talk to and he can pick which one of them you'll go to (or vice versa, or that you'll let him choose the councellor, w/e scenario fits and he feels gives him more control over it). If he doesn't like the idea of that or doesn't care about picking the councellor you may also just ask him to give it a try, just come to one or two sessions and see how it feels, or if it's with the right person.

If he won't go then you might go on your own. If there are issues going on a councellor can help you vent and also help you organize strategies on how to make your relationship with your ex better, and possibly how to avoid getting into so many fights.

You cannot force him to be interested, you cannot force him to do much. You are only able to change your own behavior. Suggest the councelling (in a positive fashion that has you two working together, don't get into a confrontation or argument, write him a calm email if you can't talk to him in person). If he doesn't go go on your own.

Either way try to keep the doors to communication open, while remembering that you are responsible for your and your childs health. Also although stress is never good people have been much more stressed while pregnant and their children have been quite happy and successful. Of course you should try to stay as calm as possible.

Good luck!

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