Single young mum of twins in need of help/advice. ?

Maitreya - posted on 09/18/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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Hey mummies, my name is Maitreya. I'm an 18 year old single mother of two beautiful fraternal twin girls who are 2 in November who I had via c-section at 36 weeks weighing 6 pound 12 & 6 pound 14. I found out I was pregnant a month before my 16th at 11 weeks and was definitely unexpected...my mum, brother and I were homeless in a backpackers due to my uncle kicking us out just after my older brother committed suicide and my mum pretty much stopped caring and it's almost like I'm mothering my mum, my brother is just lazy and disrespectful and all my family and closest friends are in nz so I don't have any emotional support which is what I really need but anyway I fell pregnant to my first boyfriend who was 22 at the time whilst on contraception and who was the first guy who didn't abuse me like most guys have for as long as I can remember (reason why I'm so protective of my babies now but the sexual, emotional and physical abuse most my life has left me emotionally unstable) but anyway so yeah was very unexpected...the father of my kids and I broke up a few days after I conceived and just decided it wasn't working...he changed, I didn't like it so yes anyway...(didn't know I was pregnant at that point) so he's WAY out of the picture, him being in Colombia I just can't locate him and he's in denial. So anyway I live in Brisbane, Australia with my mum and brother...I look after my mum, take care of the house as well as raise my little girls and on top trying to wrap my head around my past and am having no luck finding work and am living on $400 a fortnight for me and my little girls...JUST gets us by..I feel like this country is against me along with the people because I'm just NOT catching a break...no matter how hard I try I just feel nothing is getting better..I love my girls to bits but they are just SO full on sometimes I struggle and don't feel like I have anyone to rely on or anywhere to turn...I can't even afford to go back to my homeland where I CAN financially support my babies and have support...I'm so lost, I don't want to give up but I feel like I'm going to lose my little girls...it's not fair...I was going to get an abortion but saw my first scan and fell in love...I really need my own place too because I cope better on my own but just can't afford it...I don't know what to do :( sorry that this novel is all over the place, my mind is just all over the place...hmm :(

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