SISTER AND BROTHERS

Kaylacassidy7 - posted on 10/01/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I HAVE A 11 YEAR OLD DAUGHER AND A 16 OLD SON AND MY SON DOENT GIVE MY DAUGHER ATTENION AND MY DAUGHER WANTS HIM TO GIVE HER ATTNION AND PLAY WITH HER WHAT DO I DO?

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Dove - posted on 10/03/2014

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If all of the siblings are playing together and excluding JUST her... I would not tolerate that. I would tell them all to play something together or no one plays. Other than that and family activities... I agree w/ the others. You can't force it. You could encourage your daughter to talk to her brother and tell him how she feels... but then it's up to them to work out... or not. If she is the only girl in a house full of boys... maybe some special mother/daughter time would help.

Ev - posted on 10/01/2014

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You can not force a 16 year old boy to play with his 11 year old sister. He has a lot of other interests than she does besides the fact they are boy and girl. They are also five years apart in age. You could encourage that he spend time with her once a week to play board games or video games or whatever but you can not make him play with his sister. It just does not happen that way. I have two kids that are 7 years apart in age and though they are closely bonded, when they were kids they played some together but for the most part it was like raising two families. Now that both are adults they are still close and so on. You should not expect your son to be your daughter's entertainment.

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Kaylacassidy7 - posted on 10/03/2014

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michelle srry my caps was on and ok i will have some mother daugher time

Vanessa - posted on 10/03/2014

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My children are young so I will use my mom as an example. I'm 26 my sibilings are 25, 22, and 13 1/2; you can see the gaps (22y.o. the only boy). My mom never forced any of us to play with eachother she would ask us to be nice to eachother and respect one another. My brother is nice and hangs out with the youngest volentarly and when my mom isnt around. See he doesnt like to be forced to do anything or likes to be watch i know because he spoils my boys when no one is watching they tell me later. you can not force your 16 year old son to play with his 11y.o. sister doesnt work that way. at that age boys dont play with toys let alone girl toys "its not cool"

Ariana - posted on 10/02/2014

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If you want them together encourage having a 'family game night' or something all have to attend. You could also put all of your kids into martial arts since that's an activity for all ages but that's only if they both enjoy doing it. The only thing I could say is if the 16 year old is playing with the 7 year old boy then it isn't nice of him to exclude his 11 year old sister. If he's simply wanting time on his own and doesn't want her around that's for him and her to sort out.

If she really wants to spend time with him then she has to engage in an activity that he enjoys, so if he likes video games or sports she should try to engage in a mutual interest to tempt him and to try getting him when he's bored and not busy doing something he enjoys by himself. Otherwise she'll have to learn to go play with other people. Remind her that I'm sure there are times her younger brother bothers her and she wouldn't want you forcing her to go play with a 7 year old all the time.

Also remind your 16 year old to be nice to his sister and give her some attention every once in a while. That doesn't mean force him but just say it to him sometime, give her a little break every once in a while. He might ignore you or he might listen but there's nothing wrong with saying it while maintaining that he deserves to spend time with whoever he wants (while not being rude or mean to his sister obviously).

Anyway that's their dynamics the best idea is probably a family game night as all would be included and she can spend time with him but it's not a 'you have to play with your sister' and just a whole family quality time thing.

Michelle - posted on 10/02/2014

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How many people need to tell you that he doesn't have to play with her if he doesn't want to?
They are different ages and sexes and he probably has other things he is interested in.
Just to add: Please don't use all capitals as it looks like you are shouting.

Kaylacassidy7 - posted on 10/01/2014

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MY 11 YEAR OLD KNOWS HE DOESNT ALLWAYS HAVE TO PLAY WITH HER BUT SHE WOULD LIKE HIM TO PLAY WITH SOMETIME AND SHE KNOWS HE HAS HIS OWN LIFE SHE DOES TOO BUT SHE NEVER RELLY PLAYS WITH HIM SHE OLNY PLAYED WITH HIM ONCE AND THAT WAS IN JANURAY

Jodi - posted on 10/01/2014

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I agree with Evelyn. Your 11 year old needs to understand that her 16 year old brother and she probably have very little in common and he shouldn't have to give her attention all the time.

I have a 17 year old and a 9 year old, and I'd never expect them to play together all the time. Sometimes they do. She may sit and play lego and he he is bored, so he sits and helps her. Or he may sit and play an xbox game, and invites her to play too. But it is a situation that is voluntary. And BOTH of my children understand and are ok with that. My 9 year old knows her brother has his own life. She has never really hounded him to play with her. She is very self sufficient at providing her own entertainment and doesn't rely on him for that. It's great when they do hang out together, but it's also not something that will happen all the time.

Kaylacassidy7 - posted on 10/01/2014

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YOUR RIGHT BUT MY 11 YEAR OLD WANTS HIM TO PLAY WITH HER HE ALLWAYS PLAY WITH MY OTHER 2 SONS HE NEVER PLAYS WITH HER EVERY TIME SHE ASKS MY 7 YEAR OLD ALLWAYS GO AFTER AND SAYS CAN I PLAY AND THEN MY DAUGHER NEVER GETS TO PLAY NOW WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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