Sister in law in too many failed relationships

Mabel - posted on 10/28/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Been married to my husband(H) for 7years. H has two sisters and my H is the only boy and oldest of his family. We have two daughters.
Sister in law of subject (S) has been in 10 relationships since i married her brother.Every single one introduced to family holiday functions. Her first relationship she was married to her high school sweetheart who was in the military. While he was away she cheated on him and conceived my niece. They divorced after she stole his money and wrecked his car. Soon after she had my niece. The relationship between her and father ended. She was in 2 relationships till finally the5th on my husband and I decided to put our judgements aside and be there for his sister and niece. Very nice down to earth guy who had every intention of marrying and was respectful to her daughter. She cheats on him and moves on to next bf who beats her not even weeks after she's in another relationship! 3 more failed relationships. Relationship 10 it grows obvious to her that it bugs her brother. We get into huge argument when our niece is forced to call bf daddy. Note that they had only been dating a month! The relationship ends and now she is on her 11th. It's been hard watching my niece be dragged through it all with almost a new "dad" every holiday. It effects my daughters too cause now they think they are suppose to have more than one dad like her cousin. My niece acts out a lot and you can tell she's confused. It hurts me and my husband to see our niece like this. Every relationship they have lived in the same house as bf. so now that she is a month with bf 11 and living with him. I'm unsure how to go about acting around him this holiday season. I've gone from polite for the sake of everyone to awkward about all this. My h is sick of biting his tongue. I like my SIL but find it hard to get asked it when she asks if my daughters can spend the night. It hurts my daughters to not see their cousin. Need help. Note: part of the battle for me is my mom was a single mom who never did this to my siblings and I growing up. She said she respected us too much to be in a relationship with anyone. I feel like my niece is being ignored and disrespected. I mostly fear that the men that are in her mothers life could hurt her. What to do?


Amy - posted on 10/28/2014




If I were you and your husband stop worrying about his sister, and being nice to the boyfriends but start worrying about your niece. Invite her to sleep over so she can see what a stable relationship should look like, and it will get her play time with her cousins. You can't stop the revolving door of men in her moms life but you can make it a point to always provide a safe stable environment for her to come to. As for your daughters thinking they should have "more then one dad" it's your job to explain in a way that they'll understand that it's not all that it appears to be.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms