Sisters friend is coming for Christmas...

Amy - posted on 12/10/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi all, I need some advice. My older sister has no kids and is not married. The rest of our family doesn't celebrate Christmas. My husband and I have a large, blended family...5 kids. I have always cooked and hosted Christmas, which is fine. I love doing it. But my sister informed me that she is bringing her friend, who has no plans because the friends kids are with their father. I of course said it was fine for her to come. Then she says, "We need to put her name in for the gift exhange." I initially said, no! It's frustrating to me that she would put me in that position. Esspecially when we do a $20 one for the 8 of us. What she doesn't get is that it only costs her $20, but it costs my husband and I $140. I am laid off of work and it's been a really hard year. I said, "No, that would be awkward for her and us". My sister looked at me funny and I explained that if I went to someone's house for Christmas, that I didn't know, I would expect a gift and we don't know her and she doesn't know us. I told my sister, "you buy her a gift if you don't want to see her not opening a present." My sis is lonely and I have always bought for her like one of my kids because she doesn't have anyone except us and we love her. And she buys one present...the annual gift exchange. Well, this year she is in for a surprise, because that's all I can afford to get her this year. And for her to ask to throw in another person to buy for? I think I did the right thing, but I'm still a little mad at her for putting me in that position and thinking that feeding a person and opening your home is not enough. I need to let it go right?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/10/2012

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A different approach could be simply just to get her a small ornament. I don't see any reason you need to spend $20 on her, nor should she be expected to spend that much.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/10/2012

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But yeah I kinda thin you need to let it go since you have already discussed it with her.

S. - posted on 12/10/2012

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Yes you do need to let go but for the record I'd do the same as you, I'd open up my house no worries but I wouldn't be buying a gift for a stranger.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/10/2012

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I think it is great that you are inviting this women into your home, making food and hosting everything which always cost a bundle. Your sister clearly does not understand that, but you could sit down and break everything down for her if you need to. That is a good idea for your sister to get an extra present for her. That would be the thing for HER to do. Everything is falling on your plate even though you enjoy doing it. If you were in a different financial position and you could afford it, no problem. But once again, it will be one extra mouth to feed.

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