Sleep deprived...because of my HUSBAND!

Cynthia - posted on 12/01/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am exhausted, not because of my kids waking me up at night, because of my husband. I am a working mother - I teach middle school, and I need rest to be able to function at work. Almost every night, my husband wakes up at 3AM. He is a smoker, and I have tried many ways to convince him to quit. At this point, he will have to make that decision on his own, but I am trying to create boundaries about two things - 1) not smoking around the kids and 2) not waking me up in the middle of the night when he gets up to have a cigarette. I have been less successful with the latter. It is 4:20AM now, and I have been awake since he woke me at 3AM while he turned on the lights in the hall, rummaged through drawers to find his lighter, and then went out the back door to smoke.

I am at the end of my rope. I'm exhausted and frustrated. I sleep-trained my kids so that we could all sleep better when I went back to work. And here I am awake in the middle of the night because my adult husband woke me up while my kids are sound asleep.

Any advice on how to deal with this? I have been asking him to be respectful of my sleep for over TEN YEARS, and it is still happening. (And if anyone has advice on a new way to talk to him about quitting smoking, I'm all ears for that one also...)

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Gena - posted on 12/01/2014

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Has he got sleeping problems that he has to go smoke?Stress,not able to sleep? I think you should try work on that if thats the problem. I am a smoker but i never go to smoke in the middle of the night. I never smoke infront of children and i only smoke outside of the house,NEVER indoors also NEVER in the car. I think you should find out why he smokes in the night,if its because he cant sleep then he should find a way to be able to sleep better. Smoking cigarettes is bad when you cant sleep because of the nicotin. The good thing about only smoking outside is that i smoke less,especialy in winter! And for a start tell him to keep his lighter together with his cigarettes,that way he wont wake you when he is looking in drawers. And if he can quit then he should. If he cant (doesnt want to) then find a solution that he can sleep through the night without smoking.

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