Sleep time!

Jenna - posted on 01/14/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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So my 3 year old, going to be 4 at the end of march has a horrible time going to sleep at night. I have to be in the room with her, physically laying down with my eyes closed fake snoring for her to fall asleep.. Sometimes im in there for up to two hours! And by the time i get out of there i am exhausted and need to go to bed l and everything i needed to do while she was asleep now cant get done because im too tired. I wouldnt mind if it was 15 20 minutes but its all night! Has anyone else had these problems??

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Sarah - posted on 01/14/2016

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My husband works nights and I loved sharing a bed with my kids (mostly) now they want privacy. Bummer for me.

Dove - posted on 01/14/2016

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My son and I have co-slept from birth and off and on (more on than off) bed shared for almost 6 years. He's almost 8 now and I'm still in his bed every night until he falls asleep... 'I' need to go to bed when he does though, so it works for us. I figure eventually he'll get to a point where he doesn't need me in his bed (and he does fine when he sleeps at Grandpa's or his dad's), so I'm cool w/ it.

Jenna - posted on 01/14/2016

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Omg that was so helpful thank you! I get home at 7 and shes in daycare all day so i try to keep her up a little later so i can see her, i know thats probably selfish now that i realize.i think it is way more of a habit then it is being scared. Shes very smart so when she relizes one of her antics arent working shell try more and more things until i lay with her. Then shell go with " i want nonna to lay with me" (my mom who we live with) and my mom does whatever she asks even if i say no so it doesnt help, and now that we are looking for our own place im nervous its going to get worse. She naps at school but from 12-2.. Im going to try the first method and if that fails then the sdcond method! Thank you so much

Sarah - posted on 01/14/2016

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Sure, she is at a time where being alone is not her favorite thing right now. Some tips I can think of are; First, when she is a awake and in a good mood tell her, you'd like to go to bed in your own bed and you know she is a big girl and she can go to bed in her own bed too. It doesn't have to happen that night but you can get a calendar and pick a date for her to be on her own. Mark it and then begin a count down each day and remind her that you will get to celebrate the night you can put her down snuggle for a few minutes and go. The morning after her first successful night, make a huge deal of her sleeping alone. Second, stick to a bedtime routine religiously, bath, snack teeth, books and snuggles and kisses and then you leave.
Third, do you think this comes from habit or is she legit scared about something? If she has fears, then those can be addressed with "monster spray" (water in a spritz bottle) or a "magic nightlight. Kids this age are highly suggestible, so while they believe in scary things they also believe in magic fixes.
Finally, even with you there it takes her 2 hours to fall asleep. This tells me she is either sleeping during the day when she does not need too, or something is keeping her up. It may just be you in the bed keeping her awake. Is she eating or drinking something that could keep her up? Is she going down at a proper bedtime? If she gets up for school or daycare, she should probably be in bed by 8 at the latest. Later than that and she may be overtired and all wound up so she cannot fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. No screen time at all for the last two hours before bedtime. TV and electronic play stimulate parts of the brain and can keep kids awake.
Finally, another option is to cut her off cold turkey. Put her to bed, tell her it is time for her to sleep. Do not get in with her. Do not tell her what you will be doing after she is in bed. Give her plenty of snuggles and kisses and leave. When is gets up, tell her one time "it is bedtime sweetheart" and take her back to bed. When she gets up again she gets no verbal response, you only put her back in bed, no words, no laughing, no begging, nothing from you at all. She may do this for hours the first night. If you choose this method, you have to commit 100% to not talking, yelling or showing any emotion. Just take her back to bed each time. Even if it takes 100 times the first night, it will not stay that way long, within a week she will realize that getting up and demanding you attention has no payoff. Good luck!

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