Sleeping though the night.

Chassidy - posted on 11/21/2010 ( 46 moms have responded )

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My daughter is almost ten months old and still does not sleep through the night. I've tried pretty much everything to get her to. It's hard now because we recently moved in with my sister and we now share a room, so when she wakes in the middle of the night she can see me and will not go back to sleep. The only way she goes back to sleep is if she drinks a bottle. I know by now she should be able to go eight hours without a bottle. what should I do?

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Laurie - posted on 11/30/2010

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Who on earth says a ten month old should be able to go eight hours without comforting and feeding? My 21-month old doesn't.

Emily - posted on 11/23/2010

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Forget all the *shoulds.* Your baby will sleep through the night when she's ready. If a little bottle is what she needs, let her have it.

Louise - posted on 11/22/2010

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She is probably unsettled and needs a bit or reassurance. I would not get into the habit of giving her a bottle as this is a reward for waking up. Just keep lying her down and ignoring her until she gets the message to stay asleep. This will take about three nights so be prepared to be exhausted. If this does not work then look at her day time naps. Try and just give her one 2 hour sleep at lunch time and see if this helps keep her asleep at night. Good Luck!

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Sara - posted on 12/06/2010

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I would just give it some time. You just moved, which means her world has been completely changed. Once she's settled into her surroundings it will probably get better. You can try and do some of the things posted. I've had to move several times with my kids and they started waking during the night again with each move. After a few weeks when they got used to their surroundings, it stopped.

Tiffany - posted on 12/06/2010

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I don't have any advice for the "seeing mom so now i'm awake problem" But i can tell you that my son woke up in the middle of the night wanting more to drink (he went to bed with an 8 oz bottle of milk) intil he was at leaset 20 months old, and still wakes in the middle of the night and asks for a drink now that he is almost 2.5 years. it does not seem to have been detremental in any way to his development.

Marsha - posted on 12/05/2010

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My 6, almost 7 yr old didn't sleep through the night consistently until she was 3.5yrs old. She woke for a bottle every night as a 10 mo old too. She was eating baby and solid food but still got hungry. We tried letting her cry it out....didn't work. Each child is different. She's none worse for wear getting that bottle at that time.

B - posted on 12/04/2010

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in my opinion do what you need to but it will just et harder , give her a sip of water maybe then reassure her your not far away, if it makes you feel better mine , none of them really slept all night till at least 2

Shweta - posted on 12/04/2010

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well chassidy, i faced this problem with my daughter till 1yr of her age and when i consulted the doctor, she asked me to be firm and not to give my milk to her. actually she used to take breast feed. i tried to make her sleep by patting till 15-20 days. initially she created problem, but slowly when she realised that she's not going to get it in the middle of the night, she started sleeping and by 13 mon ths of her age, she started sleeping whole night

Emma - posted on 12/04/2010

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My son is now 2 and he still wakes in the night, he has done this from day 1. i tried the CIO method but it got to much and ended up just crying with him. i give into him if he wants a drink in the night give it to him, at least that way i know he will go back to sleep. letting his CIO i was up for 3-4 hours everynight letting him scream, which then had the wholse house awake and with other children got to get up for school/nursery the next morning wasnt fair. every child is different and need different things to calm them. do what ever you think is best for your child.

Thereza - posted on 12/04/2010

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My daughter is turning 2 in January and still wakes up if I am lucky twice a night. If you do find the answer please let me know??

Crystal - posted on 12/03/2010

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Babe her with a purple soap from johnson and johnson
Add a little bit of cereal to her bottle Before bed. I leave the tv on when you sleep that way if she doesn't wake up show watch tv usually should not be in understand which is watching social get bored and fall asleep what the noise will let her know someone there

Gwen - posted on 12/03/2010

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Umm. She is hungry. Maybe a before bedtime snack will help her little belly from telling her that she is hungry. Maybe she wants more attention from you now that it's only you and her in the quietnes of the night. Living with other people always makes for more noise, and you may be giviing her less attention now that there is someone else for you to talk with. Good luck and many peaceful nights to you.

Suzanne - posted on 12/03/2010

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I used the books Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam and they are excellent for getting your baby to sleep through the night. I started using it when my first baby was 6 months and she was still waking every 3 to 4 hours and she was sleeping through the night in about a week. I did have to let her cry some. I highly recommend the book.

Beth - posted on 12/03/2010

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This is always really hard...no she doesn't need a bottle any more. Maybe you coud hang some klind of barrier...a blanket or someting...so she can't see you. Then comes the hard part...just let her be!! Don't get he up or this could go on for years...I have seen it!! It will take a few nights...but babies need to learn to soothe themselves and go to sleep on their own!! Good luck!

Dawn - posted on 12/03/2010

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My son was a frequent night waker too. I read several books about baby sleep, which helped me. One thing I learned was how they fall asleep initially (bottle, rocking, etc) is how they want to fall asleep whenever they wake up at night. If they can learn to fall asleep on their own when they first go down, they will usually quickly learn to settle themselves when they wake up at night too.

This was true for my son. After nursing, we would pat him to sleep every night. Every time he would wake up, only patting would get him back. But when we started patting him until he was sleepy but not asleep, he would cry a few minutes, but then would sleep all night. Now he goes right to sleep without a wimper. Perhaps you can give her a bottle (or whatever helps) before bed, but try to keep her awake until she lays down, so she learns to settle herself.

I also learned that (strange as it sounds) babies actually sleep better when they go to bed early- best before 8 PM- than keeping them up late. They do eventually sleep better- good luck!!!

Danielle - posted on 12/02/2010

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Hi! There is an AMAZING book called "Healthy sleep habits happy child" that is amazing. Have you tried playing music while she sleeps, letting her cry it out(no matter how long it takes)?

Cynthia - posted on 11/30/2010

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It sounds like you been through a difficult time, babies pick up on this, your child needs to know your there for her, sharing a room is not going to be easy/ You may want to push her cot up against your mattress on one side so you can rub her back while she settles back to sleep. Make sure she has her comfort toy/blanket/soother and be patient it will take you both a few months to settle into a new routine, She will get used to you coming into the room to get ready for bed. You want to have dimmer switch put in so you can set it low when you put her to bed, so its already set low when you come to bed. You may want to position her cot out of sight of your bed by turning the cot perpendicular to your bed if there is room, or wrap a blanket around the crib railings and fasten securely with tiedown straps, so it can be pulled off. Have a small bottle of water handy for her but don't automatically give it to her. Develop a simple routine for when she wakes up, no talking, low lights, a gentle hug, lay her down, rub her back, then get yourself ready for bed, repeat before you get into bed and then lights out. Hopefully you are able to do any bed time reading before you come into the room or you can make it part of your routine, with a chair beside her crib. The whole idea is to make the whole routine as relaxing as possible for both of you and not to get riled up because she is waking up. You should find if you stick to a routine that she will soon wake only momentarily.
However remember you daughter is still going to wake up when she is teething, when she is going through a growth spurt, and when she is poorly, Don't automatically assume that because she is a certain age she must be sleeping throught the night as a discipline problem, Teething, growth spurts and illness are all frequent occurances and these needs need to be met and comfort given this is how our children learn to trust us to be for them in times of distress when they are teenagers. Its a sacrifice we make as parents that is gifted back to us in trust, in secure, confident children, teenagers and adults who want us in their lives and who value us for our knowledge and experience, and tolerate our quirks and flaws, because we have given what they need (not want) when they needed it.
Parenting is first and fore most a balancing act their needs which sustain their lifes and our needs which sustain our abilities to be good enough parents!

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Does she have a cuddly toy or blankie that she is attached too? My son attached himself to 2 blankies and would cuddle up with them in his crib...now he has troubles sleeping without them :( We also use a fan as "white" noise in the room and that has helped as well. My son didn't like sleeping on his side or back but slept thru the night on his tummy and he is still a tummy sleeper to this day and he is almost 17 mths old! Maybe if you don't react to her waking up, she will just go back to sleep if she sees that you are still "sleeping" but I agree with Louise that giving her a bottle is not a good message because now she is going to expect it every time....Maybe also try making sure she is full before she goes to bed...a bit of cereal or a bottle before bedtime?? Good luck

Renee - posted on 11/30/2010

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and give her bottle of milk with cereal in it thats what i did they just need little extra not all babies are the same i have 10 grandchildren all are different but used that on kids and some grandchildren good luck

Tracy - posted on 11/30/2010

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my son is also 10 months old and has yet to sleep more than 5 hours straight. mostly more like up every 3 hours still. It drives us nuts of course, I nurse him back to sleep or rock him because I don't want him to wake our toddler next door to him.

Amber - posted on 11/30/2010

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my son did that up until he was almost 2. i honestly think its something that your child will just out grow in time. my son would wake up and whine/cry for 10 seconds and once he knew someone was there he would go right back to sleep.

Wendy - posted on 11/30/2010

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Is she teething. My daughter is eight months old and will sleep from about 9.30pm to 5am but then it only takes something small like teething or a slight cold and she wakes every three hours. I think every child is different. What time does your daughter go to bed. We have found that if we give our daughter a sleep about 5 she sleeps for an hour or two and then goes to bed about 9 to 9.30. If we try to put her to bed any earlier she is awake again for a feed by 11. I know it sounds silly but I would rather her be awake a little later and sleep through then put her down early and then be up with her throughout the night. We also found that the better sleeps she gets during the day (at least 2 decent sleeps of more than an hour) the better she sleeps during the night.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Traci - posted on 11/30/2010

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Yes, every child is different. If it helps at all, my youngest did not sleep through the night until the day he started walking. It was just enough evidently to finally wear him out. Fortunately he was an early walker! Good luck to you and your baby.

Laura - posted on 11/30/2010

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I desperately tried to CIO and all other methods for my daughter. We were always tired and cranky. I found, that for my daughter, when she was ready, she'd do it. As long as she feels the love that we have for her and gets the reassurance she needs, she's fine. I had people telling me all sorts of horrible things about giving in, giving her a bottle, letting her get in bed with me. Guess what, she's a bright, happy well adjusted 6 year old that sleeps beautifully in her own bed, or away from home, doesn't have to have a bottle, doesn't wet the bed, doesn't have separation anxiety..... Moral of the story, do what feels right for you and your daughter. Don't feel guilty, or that you are doing something wrong. Each child and parent is different. Trust your own instincts.

Rhonda - posted on 11/30/2010

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Try giving her pablum before she goes to bed, and if she does not like the taste of it try mixing a little bit of baby fruit in with it, i mixed applesauce or mixed fruit or blueberries, it worked for me i hope this works for you. Good Luck

Pam - posted on 11/30/2010

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I hope she eats her evening meal well. I suppose you can be firm by ingoring her until she knows its time to sleep. bath at night too? try.

Tessa - posted on 11/30/2010

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She might just want to play a little bit longer, my 8 month old has a pretty stable bedtime routine, she eats dinner at 7:30 has a bath at 8:30 then is ready for bed by 9:00 but doesn't actually go to bed till 9:30, I like to give her that extra 30 mins of play time, and then I sort of halfway swaddle her give her a 5 ounce bottle and rock her to sleep and I usually hold her til I know she won't wake up. She does however lose her paci in the middle of the night so she wakes up enough just to find it... At 10 months your child still should have a bottle before bedtime to keep her tummy full all night, there will be plenty of advice given to you but go with what you feel is right for your daughter.

Lori - posted on 11/30/2010

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Every child is different. My first 2 slept through the night by 8 weeks, so when I had my third one (2nd husband-different genetics) I expected the same. I was unpleasantly surprised when he did not sleep through the night for 10 months either. We did continue to give him a bottle and he went right back to sleep. He is now 16 years old and I don't think there is any permanent damage from having a bottle during the night. We just always had it ready to go, gave it to him and he would go right back to sleep. She will eventually sleep through the night. I would advice trying to get her out of the same room as you ASAP.

Amy - posted on 11/30/2010

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you can also try giving her a half of peanut butter sandwich for a snack peanut butter somehow fills the belly i have done that with all three of my kids

Amy - posted on 11/30/2010

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first if there is any kind of stress she can sense it .....a good trick i do with my 10 year old son who has multi disorders is right before bed time i give him a snack and a warm bath which i put 1/2 cup baking soda 1/2 cup epsome salts and a tablesppoon of lavander oil this relaxs him and he sleeps through the night

Corrie - posted on 11/30/2010

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My son was three before he slept through the night and I felt the same way. Don't be discouraged, she will eventually get there. Just keep doing what you are doing and everything will be ok. She is still little, and not all babies are ready to get rid of there midnight feeding. It is discouraging but it will be ok and work itself out. My son is 7 now and sleeps all night. So it will be ok. Keep up the good work!

Tanya - posted on 11/30/2010

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Ten months old is not really that old. My daughter is 10 months old also and does not sleep through the night. My other children did at this age, but she is her own person. I typically nurse her 1-2 times throughout the night. It won't last. Sometimes reverting to old habits can be comforting in times of change.

Candice - posted on 11/30/2010

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my daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 15 months old. you can try sleep training, but i wasn't fond of the idea. at some point it just stopped.

Candice - posted on 11/29/2010

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I would give her the bottle personally. she is probably hungry. I generally feed hungry babies. :)

Jennifer - posted on 11/29/2010

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Every child is different....My 4 year old still doesn't sleep through the night but my other one (20 months) goes down for anywhere between 10 and 13 hours every night....

It's very frustrating with the 4 year old because I know the only reason she gets up is to come to our bed and trying to break her from it is pure torture...I can only hope that sending her back to her own room every night will eventually pay off and she'll get the message.

It'll get better for you so don't worry about her waking up now...she is only 10 months old. If it's a habit, she'll learn to grow out of it if you start early enough.

Lori - posted on 11/24/2010

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living with your sister is a hard adjustment for all, especially little ones.... when they get used to a routine its hard to accommodate living with someone else....

my advice would be this.... keep it dark where she cant see you.... stay quiet when she awakes...i know first instinct is to tend to her due to others in the house, but you have to let her adjust too...

if she takes loooong naps, dont let her nap after 2... she will be fussy a lot but it can start a routine that around 8 she will be ready to sleep... if she doesnt take a pacifier now, dont start it... its harder to break...when you actually lay her down for bed give her a bottle, might try to make it warm milk....i know you warm it anyway, but "warm" milk always soothes....i know its trying times for you and her but you will find a routine that works... :)... best of luck to you..

Laura - posted on 11/23/2010

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My son did the same thing until I moved him to his own room then he had no prob. And I know that's not an option so maybe you could put a screen up so that she can't see you. My kids still go to bed with a sippy of water. maybe if you just have it there she can grab it and that will calm her. Just some suggestions.

Amber - posted on 11/23/2010

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I had the same problem with the CIO method. My daughter has a set of lungs on her that can wake the neighborhood. She would scream and I thought she wouldn't stop, but with some reassurance from my Pediatrician and most importantly support from my husband we tried again. First few nights she did the same routine screamed for an hour and 20 min then almost 2 hrs, on the 4th night I layed her down she fussed for about 10 mins and then for the first night in months she slept all the way through. Now some nights she will get up but I wait 10 min before getting her, she just whines a bit and if she is really needing me she stays up otherwise she falls back to sleep. I am glad I listened to my Ped, he told me she is well past needing me now she wants me so I have to be strong. So here's to you getting a full nights sleep. Good luck

Sharon - posted on 11/23/2010

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Our little man started becoming very needy for us around the 9-10mth stage and instead of settling himself back to sleep (which he'd done for many months prior) he would cry for us. We've chosen to not do the CIO method. At first I would be settling him, then we moved to the other side of the country and he was without his cot for 3wks so was sleeping in bed with us, which he loved ofcourse! At the moment (he's almost 13mths), he will wake up/stir once or twice a night and I'll just comfort him to put him back to sleep. Occassionally he will end up in bed with us but that's more because I'm too tired and just want to sleep. I don't know about your little girl, but our little man is so needy of us at the moment that I think that' part of his problem during the night, he just needs that constant reassurance that we are right there for him.

Chassidy - posted on 11/22/2010

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Thank you all for the advice. I have tried almost everything you all have said. She eats regular food. I do agree that she does not need the bottle. I have tried the cry it out thing but she dont cry it out she will scream at the top of her lungs for an hour.

Bonnie - posted on 11/22/2010

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I don't necessarily think your daughter needs the bottle. Of course she will take it if it is given to her. My boys are 2 and 4 and there are still nights where they wake up or come into our bed. Every child is different and some just take longer; some wake up less and some wake up more.

Laura - posted on 11/22/2010

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You are correct in that your daughter should be able to go without a bottle for 8 hours. Louise is right--don't give her the bottle when she wakes up, it will start a habit that will be even harder to break! If you must, consider using a bottle of just water, or preferably, a pacifier.

I suggest start by re-evaluating your bedtime routine. Look at when she eats, how much, and the time you put her down to sleep. Some of these things can be changed fairly easy that just might get her sleeping through the night. Without knowing what your exact routine is (or what techniques you have used to date) all I can do is give you a general example of what I mean: If you feed your daughter at 6:00 pm and she has an 8:00 bedtime (with a bottle right before), then you can try shifting some things around to see if you get a better sleep outcome. In this example you could try feeding her a bit less at 6:00 pm, saving some cereal for right before her 8:00 bed (to go with the bottle). This extra food might fill her up enough that she won't wake up hungry in the middle of the night.

Another option to try is to move her bedtime back 30 minutes to an hour. If, for example, she has an 8:00 bedtime, you could try moving it to 8:30 or even 9:00 pm. If you move bedtime back I would then try adding cereal along with her regular bottle, even if no changes are made to dinner. Feed her the cereal with a spoon; one should never put cereal in a bottle to feed a baby--it not only damages the nipple, but increases the risk of choking.

If she is sleeping in a crib, is there a way you can position the crib in the room so that if she wakes up she doesn't see you? Without the visual cue she might fuss a bit but generally go back to sleep on her own. There is always the CIO (cry it out) option, but with sharing a room I'm sure you'd rather not use it! Hope this helps and good luck to you!

Amy - posted on 11/22/2010

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ive just seperated from my sons father and moved into my grandparents house where i share a room with my son and have been going through the samething expect he 21mths so i leave my blinds open abit and ignore him its sooo hard but i keep an eye on him as he climbs out and jumps into my bed but make sure you let everyone know that this is a trying time. the other option is keep a small bottle of water to give her when she wake or rice milk before she goes to sleep it can keep them fuller for long.

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