Sleeping trouble,help please???

Kelly - posted on 12/07/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Okay so my son s 15 months old and about a month and a half ago he got really badly sick,I bent the rules and let him sleep in the bed with me and my hubby,so I could pat his back and rub his chest because he had a really bad cough and doing this helped it!



He got over this flu in about 1 week,so we went back to the usual routine dinner,bath,quiet play for about 1 and a half hour then bed.He was okay with that he slept fine and went to sleep quickly,it was back to normal.



My son was always a good sleeper from about 7 months old he slept by himself in his own room (when he was littler he slep in his own bassinet near our bed.



But recently when we put him to bed he crys and crys,we will try rocking him to sleep but then when we out him in his crib after about 20 minute he will wake up a scream the house down,the only thing that stops him is if we take him into our bed and then he will eventually calm down and go to sleep but if we out him back in his crib he does it all over again.



I've tried CIO,it didn't work he would scream to the point where he is gasping for air going bright red in the face,and sometimes even gags like he is going to vomit.He screams mommy and it kills me even if I power through he will then climb out of his crib and come out of the room.



I'm scared he is going to work him self up so much and make himself really ill or even worse hurt himself climbing out of the crib.Im all out of ideas and I don't know what to do and I need my son back in his bed safe and sound like he yous to quickly because I am 3 mo ths pregnant and in 6 months time there is going to be another new born in my room that I will need to get up to in the night etc.



I'm worried that if this continues he will be in my bed forever and between the newborn and him I won't get a look in with my husband.We are both frustrated and need answers.



Any ideas???

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Kelly - posted on 12/09/2012

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My husband is actually such a sweet heart and I do get the extra special princess treatment being pregnant,I love it I must admit lol.He has been cooking,cleaning and taking hunter off my hands for a few hours for me to catch up on some sleep in the day he is such a darling and I am very thankful!



I really loving chatting to you too and Thor sounds like a great,adorable little man! And you sound like a very proud mommy and I love that! Thank you so much Hunter is my little ladies man lol he has big blue eyes that are just amazing,it's hard to say no to those eyes! Lol he is cute and he uses it to his full advantage!! Haha



I look forward to getting to know you and building a friendship with you,I'm sure I won't be scared off we are both just mums doing the best for out family! I like to think in your situation I would be okay,but I'm not sure as I've never been in it,I think we all have extra strength in bad situations for our children!



I think it's nice that you started that community I truly do it gives mums with children with terminal illnesses a place to come and chat about there life and children etc.I am truly glad your little family is settling in that is great! I am very super excited about the new baby as is my husband,we obviously have small worrys financially etc but I know we will cope and so does he so we are both just excited and chose to see the good side! And there is a great good side I am going to be blessed with another gorgeous baby after god has already given my my first amazing baby Hunter,I am truly lucky!



I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am for your help,it really mad a considerable amount of difference in one night and I do believe if we are consistent and stick to it all will be even more easy tonight! I will tell you how it goes,he is napping right now but he is only having a short nap,so he should be sleepy tonight after he had a big fun day swimming!



I am glad your family is doing well and am very thankful for all your help,I think your a great person and would love to be friends and continue to talk to you! I'm off to start dinner but would love to chat later or even tomorrow.Continue to have a lovely day and kiss that gorgeous boy of yours for me!

Char - posted on 12/09/2012

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Thor has just gone to sleep and I have just finished my dinner. I am sorry I only just read this post And I had already sent you a message. I really do enjoy chatting to you as well Kelly and your son Hunter sounds like a little cutie. It is so lovely to hear a couple so happy to be adding to your family rather than being upset and stressed like so many others and to be willing to try anything and everything to make your son happy. I loved being pregnant and my husband loved me being pregnant too. He was so so awesome and I felt even more like a princess than I usually do. Did your husband get pregnancy symptoms? Mine did. Thank you for all the lovely things you said. You do seem to have a lot in common with me. It would be great to be friends but I hope that if you read my other posts you were not scared off. When I first came across the circle I wanted to ask a question about Thor because I was curious if any one else had had the same experience. It forced me to join so I could ask. When I joined I was tired and I misunderstood what starting a community meant and I saw that there were no communities like me (mums with young babies with terminal illnesses) so I thought that I would start one. Silly me. Anyway it is not that I need support I just was interested how others cope in my situation. Also I have found that others sometimes misunderstand my intention when I ask a question even when I think I have been clear. I don't have any friends close by and those that I do have with kids have older grown ones and tell me to just keep doing what I am doing. It is nice to talk to someone else who is at home with there child and soon to be children. It is great that you have a husband who makes that possible. My sisters both went back to work in the 7 th week after their kids were born. I do not look down on them for that but I do see the sadness they have whenever they have missed their children's firsts. We are really starting to settle in now thank you for caring. It might sound funny but many people have said that we should move far far away from this area because of the earthquakes and although we lost our home we are all ok, but where do you go where disasters won't strike? So we decided for now that it is better to deal with what you know rather than the complete unknown. Before bubba was born we had considered moving up north and then the volcanoes began erupting. It is just the way the world has become. I think if you had t go through this that you would have been fine too. I just get that feeling from you. It sounds like you just needed some feedback from a slightly different perspective. I feel really privileged that I have been a little help to you and your family and I hope that you and Hunter do even better tonight and that you get to have some special time with just you and your hubby. Take care for now.

Knesset

Kelly - posted on 12/08/2012

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Oops my bad,Sorry Charlotte! Lovely name by the way,it's my sister I love it! Lol



Anyway we can lower his matters a little in the crib,I will look into that and see if it is enough height,so that he won't be tall enough to even be able to climb! Thank you,because it gives me a heart attack almost every time my little monkey decides to act like a monkey and try to climb out of it! If it doesn't make any difference height wise and he can still climb I will be looking into putting his crib into a tall collapsible playpen,I'm actually having a look to see where I could pick one up right now,thank you! Hopefully this climbing stage is something he will grow out of (fingers crossed!) lol



I am sorry to hear about the earth quake and your home,my thoughts are with you and your family! No one deserves to lose their home especially not with a new baby being so little,having a newborn is stressful enough I can't imagine what it must have been like for you,and what strength you must have had to look after your son,husband and move!



I hope that you and your family get well son!! I know I loved having Hunter close when he was ill but,now he is feeling better he is too big to be sleeping in our bed and I just want to make sure he knows his room is a safe a secure space and that he can be a independent sleeper from as early on as possible! I do hope you all settle into you house nicely and make some great memory's there with your son and husband as I'm sure you will!



Hunters sleeping actually went much better last night,he still cried but we didn't cave and put him in our bed we tried all the things you suggested and although we had to get up 3 or so times and stop him from climbing he eventually fell asleep in his bed to a story I was reading after about 3 and a half hours or so of crying! Thank you so much,as I know it will be a long process that will take patients but I see it getting much easier.



Oh no I hope I haven't startled him by moving him,I actually thought that it would calm him falling asleep in my arms and the being moved I never thought about it but that actually makes a hell of a lot of sense I would be scared if I was that little too!



That is so nice of you,I really enjoy talking to yourself you seem like a lovely person and a fantastic mother! I look forward to chatting with you as you seem quite like myself,I think we could be great friends! Lol



Thanks again for all the help,you've really made mine my husbands and my little boys life that little bit easier!



I am currently not doing any stretches but I will have to get back into the habit of doing them,like I did when pregnant with hunter,hopefully that will help when I have to pick him up.I am actually excited about telling him I think it will be so fun to tell him about the baby even though he might not fully understand! I will tell you how it goes as me and my husband are telling him later on today when my husband comes home from work,it will be fun telling hunter he is going to be a big brother. :)

Char - posted on 12/08/2012

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What a lovely message I am glad to be of some help. My name is char by the way short for Charlotte. Anyway I completely understand your fear with the crib. My boy is a little climber too and he worries us both a lot. Does your crib have a means to lower any furthercr than it is currently at? This may sound silly but if it doesn't you could get a tall collapsible plastic playpen and put just the mattress of the crib inside it and that way he hopely won't be tall enough to even attempt climbing out. Yes we have gone through a lot of the same lately because we have had some really bad earthquakes here and almost 200 people died. Our house was destroyed and we were forced to move not long after we brought our baby home. So we also would put him in our bed because I felt safer having him close. Then we moved him into the cot but still in our room. However when we moved our new room did not have room for a cot so we were forced to have him in our bbed while he got used to the new surroundings. And then we were finally able to get him into his own cot in the room next door. Unfortunately he got ill like your son and was finally recovering when we all got the flu. So now we have to have him in our bed to calm him and to keep an eye on his breathing. I forgot to say that babies are startled quite easily and if they fall asleep somewhere and then you transfer them while they are asleep they can wake up really disorientated and then get really upset if they wake up. So it might sound funny but if he falls asleep say in my arms I will gently wake him and cuddle him before I put him to bed. It is not so necessary when he is our bed because there is room for me to cuddle him unlike in his cot. I hope it all goes well with telling your son. I think you could have a lot of fun with it. Are you doing special stretches to keep your back supple so you don't hurt it all the time? Anyway have a great day it is really lovely to talk to another ultra caring mum (and dad).

Kelly - posted on 12/07/2012

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Thank you Car I never really thought about the fact that he might notice something is odd I haven't involved him much in the pregnancy in fact I haven't even told him yet I just didn't think to because I'm still in the early months.I will tell him tomorrow you know the really simple version of mummy's going to give you a brand new baby brother or sister and your going to be a big brother and that the baby is in mommy tummy.



I haven't been feeling all that less energetic I still do the same things with him except during the day he yous to be held a lot but with the extra weight bending up and down to pick him up or to pick things up with him in my arms and do things is killing my back so I don't pick him up often.



I will try and include him and I might even pop into Kmart and buy him a baby doll so we can practice and play pretend how the baby will sleep it its crib (the crib in our room) and he will sleep in his co in his room and just tell him how to handle a baby etc that he can cuddle her but not poke her eyes out etc lol.



Thank you so much for your input because we really are at our wits end with being kicked in the back by a sleeping 1 year old when we put him in our bed.



He is still a bit under the weather but not as bad this also could be affecting it like u suggested,and yes he is a very smart boy,no he can't say a lot but mummy happens to be one he has picked up and unfortunately it's the one he crys out when he wants in our bed and I hate that it upsets me to hear him cry my name.



Also with the climbing out of his crib,that's what worrys me the fact he is still so little that he just grabs the top and pulls himself and that he can't get over right and properly climb out! I actually wish he could properly climb out that way I wouldn't be so concerned that he is going to pull himself up to the edge but then fall and not support himself!



I will try all these methods and get back to you with what worked etc also with the schedule I like the change with the story time that way he might actually get to sleep in his crib while I'm reading the story and stay there because I think your right what it is when we try to trick him and let him fall asleep in our bed then put him in his it's that he isn't in a deep enough sleep.



I noticed you mentioned you are going through a similar situation,I wish you the best of luck but with all your great ideas I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no times.



Thanks once again for the great advice Car,it is well appreciated by both me my husband and my son (although he doesn't know it yet lol) and my unborn baby for the less noise that will be created (again he/she doesn't know it yet either lol)

Char - posted on 12/07/2012

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Hi it sounds like you have had a really difficult time. I have one 9 month old son of my own and two grown foster sons and I was a nanny for several years. I completely understand what it is like because we have been recently having similar problems with our son. It sounds like your son is looking for reassurance from you both. All this time you have given your full attention to your son and maybe he intuitively knows you are pregnant or even just that something is different about you. Has this pregnancy affected you so far in any way. Do you still have the same energy during the day with your son as you used to. Are you unwell at all. Has there been a lot of extra visits, commotions, changes in your home. Maybe your son is experiencing your fears and frustrations. When he was sick he needed reassurance and comfort and you gave it by allowing him to sleep in your bed. Maybe that's what he needs now. He sounds like he is very clever jumping out of his crib and talking. With what you have described I would suggest that you keep up with your routine from when he wakes until when he goes to bed as much as possible. Do all you can to make him involved with your new pregnancy maybe get him a baby of his own. Maybe make the lead up to bed more relaxing because play before bed can be too stimulating and your son may go into an exhausted sleep straight away but then may be unable to go into a deep sleep consequently waking up. Is he eating anything high energy close to bedtime. The weather has changed season so is he too hot or cold. My bedtime suggestion is bath, cuddles and story after the last feed or drink. Are you both stressed over the impending arrival of your number two. Lastly is he unwell at all. Maybe his teeth are bothering him. My sons first teeth came through without any trouble but the next few caused him so much pain especially before they had actually cut through. Sometimes it is best to get your child up if he has woken and begin again. Maybe a drink, nappy change, cuddle, story and bed again. Maybe a massage or just gentle singing. Maybe stay in the room with him. If this continues and you have someone who is trusted by you both and your son and they are willing get them to give you a couple of hours break so you can reconnect with your husband. Even if you just stay home it will help you feel like you are getting somewhere. Good luck with everything.

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