smoking while pregnant

Selena - posted on 06/07/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )

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I am a mother of 2 with one on the way. I stopped smoking with the first 2 but can't seem to quit this time around. I am depressed the closer I get to my due date the worst it gets for me. I had an IUD and some how still got pregnant. This was not something I wanted and my husband is really pissed about it. I didn't want to have an abortion so I kept the baby I have to start all over again, I gave away all of my childrens baby stuff and we are not financial ready for a baby and on top of that we just moved. So I smoke and I cry. I am so stressed someone please help me.

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Jodi - posted on 04/07/2016

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"I smoked while pregnant with all 3 of my girls and everything was fine. Now all 3 of the girls also smoke."

Well, given they all now smoke, I'd say that was a real success for you!!

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2016

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Shannon, your rationalization is absurd. If you regularly drove under the influence but never had an accident, would that behavior then be ok?

Jacklynn - posted on 06/07/2009

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I am so sorry you are having such a tough time! I'm not a smoker, but I struggled with depression during my first pregnancy. PLEASE talk to your doctor and let him/her know what you're going through. You don't have to suffer alone. They might even recommend an anti-depressant. Maybe even seeing a therapist?

Alex - posted on 06/07/2009

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I smoked until I was 6 months pregnant with both my boys & they were both fine. Yes I had to have emergency c sections with them, but that was a medical problem due to the medication I was on & not the smoking. Both my boys are fine, my eldest was 6lb 12oz & my youngest 8lb 9oz. So although it can affect birthweight etc, I think having a very stressed out mummy during pregnancy is worse than smoking a few a day (I cut down to 8 a day). Get your hubby to speak to his doctor - I'm sure they'll be quite happy to explain that no form of contraception is 100% guaranteed, and that if he's that worried about having more children then he should step up, be a man & get himself a vasectomy, that plus having your tubes tied should add up to quite a barrier to your getting pregnant!! My hubby had his vasectomy when our youngest was 3 months old, it took 30 minutes & he reckons he'd got worse pain/sprains/injuries playing rugby/working as a carpenter!!! Good luck - try not to stress about it too much & enjoy your 'bonus' baby!! xxxx

Michelle - posted on 06/07/2009

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To be honest w/ you...My dr told me it was better to cut down than totally quit-Since stress can be more harmful than smoking. I was smoking about a pack a day when I got pregnant and by thte time he was born I had cut down to half...He was a happy healthy 8lbs 4oz baby!



Hope this helps!

Jana - posted on 06/07/2009

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i smoked with both mine girls both are helthy and was born on time one was 8.26 pound and another one was 7.46 pounds i was smoking less when i was breast feeding and first was breastfeed till her 5 month and the one now 2 month i still breastfeed and smoke. stress is worst , enjoy your self dont thing about bad stuff !!!!

[deleted account]

You have no idea how often women find themselves in your situation. I'm sure you feel alone, but you're not. One of my good friends was told by 3 (count them: THREE) different gynaes that she would never have children. She went on the pill for other reasons, and STILL managed to fall pregnant after a one night stand! She's single and the baby's father is a waste of space. Talk about financially unprepared for a baby! She's going to have to lean heavily on her parents to help her out.

As much as the medical profession knows about pregnancy, there's still a hang of a lot they don't - like why someone who should be unable to have kids can still fall pregnant. I like to think (as Leaha also pointed ou) that it's just God reminding us that, at the end of the day, he is the only one who controls when and whether a woman falls pregnant. There is a reason this has happened to you. You may not figure it out now, or for a long time, but there is a reason. Since there is a reason, don't let it stress you out. If it was meant to be, then there will also be a way for you to manage it - money or no money! Did you know that children who grow up in an environment without money tend to be fundamentally happier? Probably because their parents can't buy their love... so don't let the lack of cash stress you out. You will survive, even if right now you can't see how. Sure, it may be difficult, but then, since when has life EVER been easy???

And don't let your smoking stress you out either. Yes, it's got side effects, and yes, it would be much better if you could stop. There are worse things to happen to a baby though - like fetal alcohol syndrome. Worrying about it increases your adrenalin levels, and continual high adrenalin levels are just as bad for your baby (causes brain development problems).

Hang in there. And hoping you'll find peace in the midst of all this.

Heather - posted on 06/07/2009

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Well, first, I think it's awful that your husband is angry. That just adds needless stress on you and he really should sit and re-evaluate the situation and circumstances for everyone. You two created this life together, so he's just as much responsible for the pregnancy as you are. 'It takes two to tango'. Even if birth control is used, everyone that has sex should realize there's ALWAYS a possibility of creating life... regardless of how well a doctor says it prevents. Smoking can cause low birth weight and pre-mature births, hemmoraging, etc. I doubt any immediate harm will be done to your newborn, other than the aforementioned, but down the road you may notice signs of a learning disability. I understand it must be difficult, but just be prepared for any and all issues that may arise from your decision to smoke during pregnancy.Try GoodWill, Salvation Army or hit up some Garage Sales If you need a cheap way to replenish your baby stock. You can find clothes, toys, and furniture cheap! Do a Google search and check in your area for a Baby Bottle Drive, or check out Greentogrow.com because they have a search engine that helps people locate such things.Go to your local WIC office for help with formula, juice, eggs, milk, cereal, etc. Apply for the Medical Card through your local Government agency. There's numerous ways to help your financial situation, if you qualify and don't make too much money, of course. I honestly hope all works out wonderfully, and that your husband comes to his senses for the sake of your family.

[deleted account]

I used to smoke. I know it's the easiest thing in the world for a non-smoker who has never smoked to lecture about the health issues. Don't beat yourself up too much, just try to set your self a target of cutting down if you can't give up. Even 1 less smoke is an improvement. If you can't quit altogeather you can still feel good about yourself for cutting down.



I quit when I got pregnant, but lapsed back into it when my son was 3 months old. I have since quit again. I have read comments on here about chemicals being present in smokers breast milk that made me feel like I was a bad mom, but in reality I asked my doctor who said that it wouldn't hurt my nursing baby.



If you need to have a smoke to cope with the stress of a new baby then it won't do any harm providing you try not to smoke in the same house as your new baby. There have been some comments on this site that are not nice so this might not be the best place to get support when you are under extreme stress.



No one is expecting anyone to condone smoking on here and thats not what I'm doing, but I also know that quitting is easier said than done.



God bless you, I'm sure you will feel differntly when you see your baby for the first time.

Stacy - posted on 06/07/2009

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Sorry to hear that! All of my friends have smoked during Pregnancy. None have had any issues that could be linked to smoking. I would say cut back drastically... Maybe not all together, at least right now. Stress itself can be harmful to you and your unborn child. I never smoked, but had had some caffeine (Big deal huh?!). Really, Only recently have they discovered concerns and effects for unborns. The earth has yet to end due to not being able to reproduce healthy babies (If that makes sense?). There's history of women smoking drinking eating all sorts of things. Not that I'm endorsing any of that... Tho, I would say be careful. With a bad luck streak... you wouldn't want to be in the low percentile where it does affect your unborn. And be sure youre not smoking because you may feel a resistance toward the unexpected little one.
Also, I hate the fact that because a woman carries the child, she's at fault. He should've gotten clipped! (Haha even that isn't full proof tho!) Blame him for having super sperm!
Feel better, surveys have shown that a transformation from 1 to 2 kids is a lot harder than 2 to 3... you're already running at this point!
You seem like a stronger woman than you think. Swallow any pride you may have (I don't mean that in a bad way at all!!!) and ask for help. Throw yourself a Unisex Babyshower (More people will come), send out invites well in advance... Send an email reminder the week before, register for cheap stuff (The cheaper the more you'll get), Hell even have a "Meet the baby" party afterwards (Just call it a get together... people tend to get gifts even after the baby is born)... garage sale (I spent 25$ and had gotten 2 black garbage bags full). Look on craigslist.com under free (U'll be surprised how much baby stuff people want to get rid of, you did!). WIC... even the free clinics that give pregn. tests have great things. One i went to give out 1 package of diapers a month for babies first year! Really I hope any of this helps! Don't be mad at yourself or feel guilty for doing the right thing! Your a good person and it will eventually come back to you... Now go buy a powerball!!

[deleted account]

hi, im sorry 2 hear about ur situation, when i got pregnant the babys dad left me so i did it by my self, and i was stressed and worried bout money how will i cope i hav no money then stressed about trying 2 stop smoking!! but one day i jus thought sod it if i wana smoke im going 2, and i tried not 2 worry bout others things jus deal wiv it when it comes 2 it. my daughter was abouslty fine she weighed nine pounds so not underweight like they say. anyway hope this helps people who smoke will understand ur situation. good luck. xxx

[deleted account]

i had a problem quitting too but managed to on the day i had him. i have not had a cigarette since the day he was born and i dont even want one. i too had the oops baby. this one makes my fourth. and i smoked with all mine and quit the day they were born. fisrt one i quit for 4 months. sencond one i quit for 3 months. 3rd i quit for 1 1/2 years. currently im going on 7 1/2 months so hope to keep to it this time. and as far as affecting birth wieght i dont think it did unless i would have had 9 or 10 pounders if i didnt smoke cause my kids range from 7 pound 3 ounces to 8 pounds 10 ounces.

Nicole - posted on 06/07/2009

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My baby too was a birth control baby. Two words low birthweight for the smoking bit. My siblings and I carry a bevy of health problems from our smoking mother: hearing issues for me (I now have a patched eardrum), my sister's lungs suck, my brother was born with three holes in his heart and was only four lbs at full term. My sister and I totalled five pounds. Since she was carrying twins she really should have stopped but was a selfish monster and did not- we were born nine weeks premature and were in the NICU for six weeks most of which with ventilators. Thank you smoking mommy. Your husband should suck it up and shut his pie hole for you sake. Prenatal yoga is highly relaxing as is regular exercise. i went to the gym four x's/wk through my pregnancy for my sanity. By the way, my boyfriend and I had only been together five months when I got pregnant and I am smack in the middle of school. Yeehaw, but all is well, broke, but well.

Eve - posted on 06/07/2009

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Hi Sel. First of all stop stressing out! I know its hard in situation like that but try and take things positive! You are blessed being able to have children and like Jenny said no one is really ready for a baby. It was obviously NOT your fault so your husband has no right to be mad at you! Neither of you should take this pregnancy as a mistake when its actually beautifull thing. Yeah you not financial ready for it but who ever is?? There is always another ways out. I've been made redundant and got pregnant withing my 3months notice. I couldnt find another job so you can imagine how stressfull it was! Special when you realise how many things you need for the new arrival with only one income! But we got tru! It is hard and it might take a while to stand up on the feet again but you get there!

Dont smoke if you're stressed! Have a piece of chocolate or something you like and put smile back on your face. Remember you have two children and they dont want to see mummy being sad or even cry! Be strong hun! I know its not helping when your husband is pissed of instead being supportive and that's why you have to be on the top of it and be positive! Its no point crying about that now..its too late for that.

Talk to your husband..you're in it together.

Be happy! The truth is if you are happy, your baby/ies are happy!

So..no more stress, no more tears, no more smokes! Good luck x

Amber - posted on 06/07/2009

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I know right? Some of these women are crazy!!! I spent some time away from the site for awhile b/c their insanity was actually stressing me out! Now I just try to avoid them. Motherhood is stressful enough without turning it into a competion!

Leaha - posted on 06/07/2009

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Quoting Amber:

 And watch out some of the other mothers on here tend to be really nasty and judgemental, they may say some not so nice things to you, just keep trying to quit and ignore the pretend perfect mothers if they give you an crap!!



LOL! Wow, you found that out too! It's amazing how this is a support and advice community, but yet some mothers choose to be nasty! Even if I don't agree with someone, I still try to be nice when putting my opinion out there. After all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion!



Take care!



Leaha

Selena - posted on 06/07/2009

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Thank you very much, no one is perfect but I know some people try to act like they are.

Amber - posted on 06/07/2009

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I'm sorry that you are having such a difficult time. I know that having an unplanned baby can be stressful, and I too was a smoker before becoming pregnant, so I understand the challenges of quitting. However it is important for your baby to try. The most common effect of smoking in pregnancy is having a baby with low birth weight, which can lead to some associated problems. It happens b/c while you are in the act of smoking the baby's oxygen supply is decreased. I had a doctor tell me early in my pregnancy while I was quitting smoking, that total cessation is best but that if I absolutely could not quit I should keep it to a miniumum of 5 or less cigarettes a day, b/c it limits the amount of time the oxygen is decreased. I did manage to quit, but it was difficult, I imagine that for you the additional stress it's what's stoppping you this time around, it's understandable. Might I suggest that you tell your husband that it takes 2 people to make a baby, and that you took the appropriate precautions, being upset with you is very unfair and immature! This is happening to you too, not just him. I'm sure you know from your previous experience as a mother that things will change when you see your baby! In the mean time try to get support from friends and family if you can't get it from your husband. My thoughts and prayers are with you!! And watch out some of the other mothers on here tend to be really nasty and judgemental, they may say some not so nice things to you, just keep trying to quit and ignore the pretend perfect mothers if they give you an crap!!

Laura - posted on 06/07/2009

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Girl, I smoked clear through my pregnancy. Like you I was massively stressed. I was the only one working and my partner was a deadbeat layabout. School, housework, my partner, my job... Above and beyond it all, my only relief was my smokes but I managed to cut down to about 5 a day. One when I woke up, one after each meal, and one when I went ot bed. His birth wieght was low yes, but otherwise he was healthy. Doctors are finding smoking ties into asthma, adhd, and a billion other health probs. Funny enough though, all those health probs tie into genetics too. I'm adhd, my dad was adhd, my grandfather adhd. And of course, so is my now otherwise healthy soon to be 10 year old.
You husband being bitchy about this isn't helping. You money troubles aren't helping. You want help? Talk with us to relieve stress, get some gum, and switch to the lightest nastiest tasting cigs. Last time I tried to quit, I ended up smoking pall mall ultra lights. And I'm still smoking them.... But they're cheaper than a lot of the other brands. That there has saved a lot of money. Good luck.

Teri - posted on 06/07/2009

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With my first I didn't smoke, he was born 4 1/2 wks premie, 5lbs 1oz. With my second, I did smoke, she was also born premie 4 wks, 4lbs 2oz. Both had fully developed with no problems.



As far as hubby being upset, he'll get over it at some point in time, don't dwell on it. I'm sure it's not the first time he has been mad and it won't be the last. Take care of you and your baby. God's got your back!

Selena - posted on 06/07/2009

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I am scheduled to have the surgery after I deliver but I have heard several stories of people still getting pregnant after years of having the tubes tied, I am scared of that too. The lady who lives next door had hers tied for years and she got pregnant 5 moths after she had her daughter she got pregnant again so I guess nothing is full proof.

Leaha - posted on 06/07/2009

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First off, congratulations on the baby! Even if it's not something that was wanted, obviously someone higher up thought you were a great mother and deserved to have another "little miracle". Or maybe you are supposed to be a seraget mother for someone else who is desperately wanting to be a mother. Do you have any close friends or family members that can't have children and desire to have one? Maybe you could consider adoption. I myself have been wanting another child for 6 years, and have been told that I couldn't have anymore, or that it would be extremely difficult. Just this past month, I found out I was pregnant, but it was ectopic, so the pregnancy had to be medically terminated. Ironic huh? This personal irony has proven to me that the Lord does work in mysterious ways. He's given you this gift for a reason, it's up to you to figure out what you are supposed to do with it. It's understandable to be very stressed out as well Selena, don't feel bad about it. Talk to your husband and see what he thinks.

Now, as far as the smoking thing. Ofcourse you know its bad, not only for you, but your baby. Try, try, and try again. Maybe deep down you can't seem to stop with this pregnancy because you really didn't want it? But just think about the health of the baby, and think about yourself too. Even if you give this baby up, would you really want it to suffer if it's born with some kind of dissablity due to the cigarettes? Would you really want to deal with the dissablities if you choose to keep the baby? Smoking not only causes low birth weight, but lost of life threatening problems also. If you can stop just for at least the last 3 months of your pregnancy, your baby may be okay. Lung developement happens in those last 2 criticle months.

I'm sure I haven't been very supportive, but God bless you and your family Selena. Turn it over to him and he'll help you decide and help you through. I'll keep you in my prayers too, hope it all works out...

Leaha

Eva - posted on 06/07/2009

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I've been there.....I have 2 sons, age 22 and 19....and a 6 year old daughter. Smoking will affect your child's birthweight at the least. Try to cut down as much as possible. I was 44 years old when I had her, so if this will be your last then one of you must have surgery to stop yourself from having anymore. My husband was great and had a vasectomy, which I recommend especially if he is so angry about it. Go talk to someone about your feelings and problem, because it only get to be more stress and resentment as you go along. Hope this helps!!!

Jennifer - posted on 06/07/2009

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I smoked with my two youngest boys, and it helped relieve some of the pressure. It is to late to turn back now and oyur husband should not be mad at you, ytou tried to prevent it. No one is really ever ready for a baby it just happens. When I had my first son I went through so much that I was scared to be a mom. Don't give up hun things will get better. We are all in a bad financial state anymore and have no miney for really anything, but once the baby comes and your husband looks into your babies eyes he will change. Tell him to be mad at the docotrs and not you.

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