So hard to leave my kids..

Jeny - posted on 11/10/2013 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I'm getting divorce and have to give 50% of time share to ex ... I never live by my self in my life and it's so hard to leave my kids and move out from my own house that I build up for 17years .. when I see my kids faces feeling guilty making me sad so sad ..I have been with my kids from they day born have 3 girls age of 16- 12 and 11... it's so hard don't know Im not that strong already missing my babies ;(
have no one to talk with ....

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Samantha - posted on 11/12/2013

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at the end of the day, all we can do is encourage you and give you advise from our own experience's! we have no right to judge or tell you that you are wrong for your choice's!!!!!! all I ask you is to stay strong, find a spiritual home for you need the support of people. get up and make a sound decision that you have this opportunity to make something of the rest of your life and I promise you from the bottom of my heart God will make a way. start by making a relationship with Him for He is not like the human race and you discover a whole new side of life.. get up Girl and do your thing!!!!! God bless you and I will keep you in prayer!

Shannon - posted on 11/13/2013

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I have 50/50 custody of my older two children. It's not ideal, for me. But, I agreed to the arrangement, because I felt that it was in the best interest of my children...to be loved equally by both parents, in theory.

It breaks my heart every moment they aren't with me. It's been six years since this became our legal arrangement, and it doesn't get easier. I have learned to accept it for what it is, and focus on the 50% that they are with me.

And remember, just because they aren't with you everyday, doesn't mean that you aren't their mother 100%.

Keep your chin up. Find a support group or counselor to help you work through your feelings so that you can be the best mom that you can be.

And remember, God will bring you through it. :)

Monica - posted on 11/12/2013

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why it reach upto divorce if u have kids? u both can not meet such a way that it save family? why so much hate that u should write.

Monica - posted on 11/12/2013

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reason for divorce is u did something wrong? because if u both want every problem can be fixed. pls be more open

Mathandise - posted on 11/11/2013

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Hi,

For now you have one option which is to strong my dear.Divorce was never an easy option my sister especially where there is kids involve but sometimes you find yourself with no option but to divorce.I salute you for taking this decision because most married women will rather remain unhappy for the sake of the children.Be strong for your children and pray to God,He will give you strength.Stop feeling guilty and tell yourself that i will make it for the sake of my children. Respect your decision and mostly leave by your decision.

Hope you not offended by my comments

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Jeny - posted on 11/12/2013

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my Dear Samantha I really appreciate your love and courage ... Yes God is great ❤️
thanks sis may god Bless you too .

Jeny - posted on 11/12/2013

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dear no1 can understands ur pain and the things u went trogh or goin to .. I tired my best to save my marriage over 10years because I have children but only one side can't save the marriage he never tried ... he never let me to go to work study, he wasn't to pay my bills ,so I kept try try he didn't want to change his habbits he spent all his paychecks either in stock market getting loans or buy expensive electronics or 3 to 4 times a year in Las Vegas ... and he wants me to stay home cook clean be a servent not socialize with any1 not even my Owen parents or when he needs me in bed had to do all the things that made his stress go away so he could relax from his busy day NOT LOVE . which I did my best to give him plusers all he wants :/ Never asked me how was my day do I have any problems ? he alwasy busy with his TV shows while he is at home ,, He was the only Adult that I was communicated ..But when I wanted to talk to him He was shutting me up because I was disturbing him with his shows so he put me on Silence until commercial comes ....
so I became a person with hight dippration and anxiety ... I bagged him for help me ... it was easy for him to telling me go take ur pills and shut up ... I raised my kids by my self and he was the only help with financial ... I was taking anxiety pills to run away from all problems that I had going trough Totally lost my self conference never attention to my self never wanted to wear or groom my self ..Until last year I saw my self in mirror I saw a sick 38 years old looked like 60 years old I said to my self one day u will die in sleep have to take my self from this I have to live for my for my Doughter it's better to b alive somewhere then Dead ;'( So I decided to Get divorce and free my Self .. it was difficult and still is I was scared of him not even asking for anything .. when a person controlling ur mind life always imagine how he treats you after asking for divorce :/ Me and my god knows how I'm living from past year ...
BUT I MADE IT TO THIS FAR .. Just Praying to God to give me strength ..
Thanks my dear sister Monica please excuse my English grammar because English is not my first Lunguage .

Samantha - posted on 11/10/2013

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He will Sweetheart,

there will come a day when you will be over this!! cry it all out if you must, it hurts like a pain only a Mom would know!! but I have faith that you will overcome this and I promise you, you will smile and your Children will be smiling and dancing in the rain with you xx

Jeny - posted on 11/10/2013

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thanks sisters ❤️
Sometimes I'm feeling I can do this but again coming back to weakness :(
I'm so Sad depressed ... keep crying ..
just Pray to God to give me strength to face this ,

Samantha - posted on 11/10/2013

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that's why the guilt is eating at you, it is like cancer. combat this before it eats you alive whereas you will become dependant on all sorts to cope! you have made the decision to get divorced, you obviously have valid reasons for this?! your first step is to accept you choice you have made, second, recover and please do not allow deception creep in and for you to allow yourself to be mislead by this for you are very vunerable at this stage, Mom's are incredible creatures but our weaknesses are our children so I can relate! take advise from an old fool, stand strong, pray much, and show you girl's what it's like to be strong, cry behind door's, chat to a friend but please don't show your girls you are weak. yes, cry with them but rather show them you are strong and eventually they will become like you for this world is full out pain etc but you can turn this situation into greater traits for you girl's in time when they have to face this world! and remember. you can do all thing's through Christ who give's you the rest xx take care and smile because God created you and you are beautiful!!

Jodi - posted on 11/10/2013

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Hang in there Jeny, it gets easier. Just remember your children are older and will likely be leaving the nest in the not so distant future anyway. They will certainly spend less time at home as they get older. Use this as an opportunity to get back on your feet and find your individuality again. Find a hobby, maybe even join some interest groups (if you like to read, is there a book club in your area), and find something that makes you happy. Don't feel guilty. I am sure you had good reason for the decision you made, and I'm sure you didn't make the decision lightly. Your children will be fine - just make sure you keep a cordial relationship with your ex, and always keep the children's best interests in mind when communicating with him, no less and no more, and you are doing the best thing you can do as a parent.

Samantha - posted on 11/10/2013

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Hi Jenny,

you need to stop sitting in your pity potty and get up. dust yourself off and show your girls that their Mum is strong and she knows how to dance in the rain.. I have been down this same road..you need to be strong Sister!! why the guilt though? is this divorce something you orchestrated?

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