so i am getting a divorce..and any advice about full custody..my husband and i decided me and my daughter was to move to californina because i wanted to go to a good college, and live with my parents for now then we had a plan that he was to move with us in feb after tax season so i didnt leave him we had a plan..then ignores me a month later doesnt tell me he cheated but i found a facebook picture and he dates her and they move intogether while he just ignored me and his gf has two kids of her own and he hs not asked about my daughter at all and he wont give up his rights as a father and trust me she doesnt need this guy in her life, he deserted both of us!! we are getting an atourny to see what i can do! just sucks plus he doesnt have a car or licences we re 22 and i shoul of realized i outgrew him cuz i wanted more in live he has no money because he doesnt make alot at work..so i doubt hed see my daughter anyways
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Jodi - posted on 01/10/2013
He does not have the responsibility for 2 more kids, and it really isn't your decision as to whether he should see his daughter or not. If you have evidence to state that your daughter would not be safe with him, then by all means, present it, but unless you can do that, there is absolutely no reason to cut him out of her life. And I think you will find that a judge would agree with me on that one. If he decides he wants visitation, he will get it. Even if only twice a year.
Your daughter will be a hell of a lot more hurt in the long term if you cut him out of her life altogether rather than allowing her even that twice a year to develop a relationship with him. Ask yourself if you would like to explain to your teenage daughter that the reason she doesn't know her dad is because you decided to cut him out of her life.....believe me, she won't be happy.
Jodi - posted on 01/10/2013
While you may think she doesn't need him in her life, that isn't necessarily the case. In fact, research would beg to differ. By all means, speak to an attorney and organise divorce, custody and child support, but don't deny your daughter the right to get to know her father if her father decides he does want to participate. It sounds to me like this is very recent, and he hadn't been planning on moving over until next month anyway. Demanding he give up his rights at this point is pretty unreasonable. I can see that you are understandably hurt by his really bad decisions, but this doesn't mean he can't still be a good father if given the chance.
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i know im talking in anger, and im so hurt so im not thinking straight on custody, but hes a heavy drinker now with his gf and he has the responsibility of her two kids, he cant afford to see her anyways and he hasnt been much of a dad but support us i raised her by myself when hes act like he didnt have responibilty i feel id be protecting her cuz he deserted both of us and this was his plan to ditch us. i apperaite you telling what i need to hear though! hes not dad material and idk how his gf cant see that.he hasnt asked about our daughter when we were fine at first not once.i feel like my daughter doesnt need to hurt and when he would be able to see her id be like once or twice a year and i dont want my daughter to hurt that she cant see him alot you know? but thank you for your advice again!
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