So i am not exactly a mom but a new adoptive dad of a handsome 9 month boy. My Partner and I have recently received our boy (about 3 weeks ago now) well long story short we recently relocated and came back for the placement and now I am here as the primary care giver while he is at work. I have been noticing that there times in the day when I just don't want to hold him. So I sit him in his play are and he plays happily, but I feel so horrible by having this feeling. I don't know how single parents do it, I mean I don't have to worry about daycare and work. I guess I might not be cut out for this normal?


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Robert - posted on 08/10/2013




Thank you Kelly and Shawnn, I just worry cause he is adopted and has had so much change that I just want him to feel sure that he loved.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/09/2013




Ditto what Kelly said.

No reason to feel guilty! Sounds like your son has a wonderful loving family, and is very lucky to have you both.

[deleted account]

No worries--That is a perfectly normal feeling, and it is actually very good for your son to learn to play on his own and not be held all of the time.

Use the time he is playing contentedly on his own to do something nice for yourself or catch up on housework. You HAVE to take time for yourself sometimes, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it!! If you don't, you'll lose your identity outside of dad, and you'll fall into a rut that can easily become depression.

As long as he is happy, you should be happy too, whether you are holding him or not. As he gets older, you will find yourself wanting a break from him more and more often, and that is nothing to feel bad about, it just means you are still a complete man, not "just a dad". I hope that makes sense.

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