So nice to know I'm not alone

Sara - posted on 06/17/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have three children. 5 year old boy, 9 year old girl, and a 21 year old girl. My 21 year old is why I have joined this site. She is so mean to me...I just don't understand. We used to be so close...I mean the teenage years were no joy ride, but we made it through, and I thought things were better. I'm learning that she is selfish and manipulative and ungrateful, and have started to question myself as a parent. I have always tried to do my best with her best interest. She's doing well, working 2 part tie jobs and going to college....but she is just rude to me. There's a lot more to say, but wanted to start by saying that I feel thankful to have found this site. It's nice to know there's other good moms with these frustrations, so I don't feel alone.


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Anita - posted on 06/18/2016




HMMMM...Just read the comment below. I agree - the fact that she is working and going to college is a good sign that she is on the right track. The goal for our kids is that ultimately they move out on their own and provide for themselves. The being rude part is upsetting - but maybe she is going through her teenage years a little late? I have 2 teenagers right now (age 17 and 14) - I am not ok with them being disrespectful - but they certainly can be rude! :( It is part of them severing the tie from me and my even though it is NOT FUN it feels like part of the process. Can you tell her your feelings are hurt? You have little ones - does she feel like she ever has time with you? Maybe just the two of you have some girl time...just humble thoughts - no one ever said being a MAMA was easy!! XO

Ev - posted on 06/17/2016




While its definitely not alright for how she seems to be treating you, you have to understand she is exerting her independence and trying to also find her way in this world. Great that she holds down jobs and school. At least you are not worried about her just running about and not doing any of those things and trying to live off you which is a lot of the posts we see. But if you feel that it will be deter-mental to the younger ones seeing how she treats you then maybe you need to sit down and come up with a contract with rules of how she needs to be to be allowed to continue living at home following rules which include how she treats you respectfully and what her contributions to the home will be including rent. If she is not going to do this, the she should get a certain amount of time to find a place of her own and move out.

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