Tamara - posted on 06/26/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )
I have a six year old son in year one at school this year. He will be turning 7 in a couple of weeks.
It hasn't been the most enjoyable start to formal education. He is very bright child who can converse with adults but seems to according to the school have "no social skills" when it comes to peers.
I have been in quite an extensive meeting with the class teacher and the school psychologist today where, putting forward what I know of how he feels about school, I was met with some opposition.
I believe my child is being bullied yet the teacher was pushing for me to admit he was the bully. There have been 9 cases this year (and we are only in the first semester) where he has received lengthy timeouts of 80 minutes each time for hitting children. He doesn't exhibit such behaviour at home.
At home we have two children to raise, my eldest was also badly bullied in year one (in this same teacher's class) and nothing was implemented by the school until last year when she was in year 3.
I certainly don't want a repeat situation because she has gotten to the point of accepting her fate of "having no friends".
My son can have a conversation, request and answer requests, give compliments, greet appropriately, ask questions, listen respectfully and then answer whilst remaining on the same topic but will politely change the subject. He is working on not interrupting during conversations. He does all this with adults.
The disturbing part is that school thinks he needs an aid! Because he is 6 turning 7 and they feel he hasn't pushed past the social skills level of a kindergartener - 5!
I am equipped with knowledge in child development and as his mum have made every effort to cover all bases in order to have him ready for school. This includes social skills.
If a child doesn't know how to use social skills with his peers how will he learn from his peers if they are techniquely still learning also? Isn't this where us parents step in?
I don't get it. I am really confused. I feel as though they are using my son's occasional outbursts of frustration to put him in the "too hard" box and give him an aid because they can't cope!
I have told the school psych no to an aid but I have given her strategies (fancy that a mum giving school strategies!) and requested him become part of a friendship group at school in order to learn at school how to deal with peers.
Does anyone have any other suggestions as to how to help my child get over this hurdle and get the school off of our backs?
Any at home type programs I could implement? I need something for my own sanity to get started. I want to nip this in the bud so that he can reach his full potential which the teacher is saying he isn't doing academically well - when he is obtaining the average. What was she expecting? A genius?
I am also making an appointment to see my GP in order to obtain a referral. I want peace of mind that my child is fine. I also want to show school that they are the ones who are unnecessarily jumping up and down over my child.