Denise - posted on 09/28/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
Help! I have a 9 year old girl that is constantly having hurt feelings by feeling as though she does not fit in. Her BFF is often buddying up with others and kind of not including my daughter in social settings and when there are other friends around.
We just recently switched churches so that she would know a few kids in the kids club, but when I asked her whom she played with in church today she said nobody, that her other two friends buddied up and left her out. I usually always tell her to reach out to another friend, but in this case, she didn't know anyone else in the room.
I do feel that social settings make difficult situations for my little one. She has had speech issues since as long as I can remember and I really don't know if there's an insecurity that has affected her in social situations. We have gone through years of speech therapy and although she's doing much better we are still currently dealing with it.
I realize kids don't usually mean to be hurtful, but I feel like they should have included her.
I do feel like this is an ongoing situation with socializing in groups. We have tried to have one on one play dates versus group play dates. My husband also started a softball team to try and make closer friendships with a group of friends from a relatively small town. He coached with some of the other dads help, but this still didn't seem to help with the bonding of more friendships.
My daughter is an incredibly sweet girl with a big heart, but just socially a little awkward. Volume control seems to be one of the issues that makes children standoffish. We have worked with her a lot on this, and does seem to be improving, but I feel like other parents are not very accepting of her either.
I'm really starting to feel like I don't know how to help her. Do I talk to the other mother whom is a very good friend to me, or am I risking upsetting her? I just feel that maybe a little pep talk about not leaving out friend might help the situation, but it's a conversation that I've had in the past. I'm just unsure if I'm crossing a line here if I do so, but I hate that my daughter is feeling left out by the one good friend that manages to leave her in the dust in social settings.
I don't want my child to feel left out or be ostracized by other kids and parents.
Please help! Any words of wisdom or advice would be much appreciated!