SOLE CUSTODY...

JoAnna - posted on 05/30/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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SOLE CUSTODY...

I recently file for sole custody of my 7 yr old son in Ontario. His father has not seen him in over 4 yrs now. According to him I forbid such contact from happening between the two but according to the law (to my knowledge and what my lawyers tell me) he could of taken me to court and filed otherwise. My concern is if he contest the custody request what will happen? Mind you he hasn't seen our son in 4 yrs and never paid any support of any form nor does he partake in any of the physical aspect of our son's life, ex./school and sporting events, doctor appointments, etc. I have one child with another man and am expecting another one in a few months. My fiance has been my son's father figure in the last 4 yrs and is wonderful with him and would like to be able to adopt him after we wed. His biological father's name is on his birth certificate but besides that and our son's last name being his there's nothing that ties the two together. I want to be able to travel with my son and my current family and change his last name but cannot do so without his biological father's consent, hence why I am seeking sole custody. Can anyone shed any light on this topic for me that has been through it? What's the process? How long will it take? Is sole custody in my favour? Do I really have anything to worry about? I'm a little apprehensive about the whole situation and being pregnant, it's surely not good for me.

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Michelle - posted on 05/30/2012

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Sole custody is really hard to get these days you are better off to ask to have his rights removed over sole custody you have gone this long without child support I would just leave that alone as he is more likely to relinquish his rights then to give up custody and still have to pay for him. If your current husband or husband to be wants to adopt him that is your best bet. I live in Alberta and here getting sole custody is next to impossible. Make sure you way the pros and cons of both situations but in your case I think that termination of parental rights is what you should be looking for.

Medic - posted on 05/30/2012

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Sole custody does not allow you to change his name and have him adopted. For that you happen you would have to have his parental rights terminated.

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JoAnna - posted on 05/30/2012

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Thanks for the input!! I am filing for child support and my lawyers told me he would have to back pay even for the years we were together. I also asked about the name change...in Ontario, Canada as long as I have been granted sole custody I can have it changed. In terms of trips, I know I wasn't going to be able to go anywhere with my child unless I had the father's rights but hence why I'm seeking sole custody so I can do those things without his consent. He's had a sorted past with alcoholism which hinder why we separated but doesn't believe it's a factor to our son's well being. I know in the states its a little gray in some areas but it's pretty black and white here in Canada and just wanted to know if anyone in Canada has been through any of this? I appreciate your response ladies!!!

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I would think that you will get sole custody of your son. But, I will also say..the law can be crooked. The best thing in my opinion is to get all the dirt on your child's biological father that will put against him. Did you ever file for child support? If so, he hasn't paid, that will go against him right there. If the father would try to stop the sole custody and fight..The court will see who is fit to care for the child. Who has a home fit for the child, who has been taking care of the child, who is around the child more, this will be in the aspect of the child. The court will also check in about abuse. You can look online and see what the requirements are for having full custody of a child.If a parent is on drugs or violent in any way. If a parent is an affender, if a parent has been in jail for something bad of course, this can cause the parent to not have custody at all.
As for going on a trip outside of the area you live in..Not recommending if you are in a battle of custody right now. The father could be dirty and say you kidnapped your child, even though you didn't. My sister lost her son in court. The father took him away and she was accused of abuse, which was a lie and things in her past of seeing a guy was brought up and well they really made her look bad. Anyhow. She had rights. She could take her son on trips and all, well one time she took her son to north carolina and the biological father called the cops and said she kidnapped and she got put in jail for almost 2 weeks. I went and gotton all of the papers that had to do with visitiation and when that was taken to the court. The charges was throwed out. But the point was. She had the right to take her son and got put in jail for kidnapping..which was a lie. So, I wouldn't recommend taking your son over the line. Who Knows your childs father could be a total jerk. He already sounds no good when he hasn't had nothing to do with his kid anyways.
If you could get him to sign all of his rights over. that would be great.

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