Son and husband don't get along

Cheryl - posted on 10/28/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and son (his biological son) don't get along. I am very afraid they will come to blows, and/or my 18 year old son, still in high school, will move out like his brother did a month before hs graduation. My husband is very self centered, and immature, and my son has testoterone that is in excess! HELP!!!

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Raye - posted on 10/28/2015

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Your husband is an adult, and needs to act like one. Your son, although he's 18 and technically an adult, is still a child in many ways. The brain continues to develop until around mid-twenties. And, as you've seen, men the age of your husband sometimes don't have the mental and emotional maturity to behave properly, so your son's role-model may not have taught him very well. However, your son is old enough that he should be able to control his "testosterone" as you put it. You need to put your foot down and demand respectful treatment of everyone in the house.

If your adult son is going to remain living at home, there should to be ground rules set similar to a tenant agreement. You need to see your son as an adult, and set the rules commensurate with his age. As landlords, you need to treat your tenant with respect and allow him some autonomy and privacy. And he needs to treat his "landlords" and the property respectfully. If he can't abide by those rules, he needs to find another place to live.

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Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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Best advice I can give you is to try talking to your son to see why he won't get along with his dad. Also, ask your husband is there any common ground to where he can communicate with your son to keep everyone at peace. Another way you can go is to talk to both of them at the same time and explain your frustration. I hope this helps. :-)

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