Son Doesn't Want Mommy

Megan - posted on 05/12/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have a 4.5 year old son and I share custody with his father. I work at a hospital on night shift usually Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights. His father and I do not have a legal custody arrangement, we've tried to work it out between us. But here lately my son has been refusing to come with me, saying he wants to stay with his father. Instead of backing me up, his dad never tells him that it's mommy's day or has him ready to go when I get to his house to pick him up. Many times I've come to get him in the morning and his dad is still laying in bed with him and he's not even awake or dressed and ready to go. I am a single mom living on one income, I cover all of our son's health insurance premiums and I do not receive child support (not that I care because we usually have him equal days during the week) but it's hard to not have spare money to spend on our son the way his dad does. He says that he has more fun at his father's.

His dad has made it no secret that he resents me for not wanting to be with me anymore and that he blames me for his unhappiness. He's very intrusive into my life and I feel as though he uses our son to, in a way, still have control over me.

I'm so frustrated and I'm feeling like a failure of a parent. I try to make my sons life fun when he's with me but I also feel as though he needs discipline and guidance and a set schedule which he is not getting from his father. Am I not doing something right?


Val - posted on 05/13/2013




Yes, you are not doing something that you need to do right away pronto! And that is to get down to Family Court and have real counselling from the family court counsellor or the available legal aid offered to those that cannot afford a lawyer.
Thats emotional abuse and failure to take care of your child by HIM. He cannot use the child like that, having the little guy listen to that kind of thing and stress.
Any Court will back you up for sole custody if he carrys on bad mouthing you and not cooperating with visits, and not leaving you and your privacy alone. YOU are not a failure. Your son does need a firm but loving parent (s). That gives them security. What your ex is doing is being a 'pal' and that NEVER works, creating bratty insecure, kids.
You are the parent, claim your right to manage your little son and take over as the main caregiver, as your ex doesn't 'get' it. The Court will make sure he doesn't interfere with Legal Papers that you must go to Family Court for and gain complete custody of. Joint Custody won't work with a mindset that he has.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/13/2013




Get custody and support arrangements nailed down legally.

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