Son has possessive clingy girlfriend

Tammy - posted on 06/17/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello moms, well my story starts with my son just returned home from MCRD. He is now a Marine. I'm so very proud of him. He is 23 and his girlfriend is 19. This is his first serious relationship. They have been together for 11 months. My son also proposed to her early in the relationship. Well, in this time they have had several disagreements in which my son comes home talks to me about the issues. Says he is done, tired of her getting angry because he wants to hang with his friends and so forth. She has even gone as far as have her male relative threaten him on Facebook. He has also supported her because she quit her job. (Didn't get along with other girls at work). Anyway before he left for boot camp they got into a huge argument. And I course, I'm here for my son. Well, the day before he leaves for enlistment she makes up with him. He has just returned home after 13 weeks and she is always with him. She unfortunately lives with me because I knew if she didn't I would never see my son. So I have both in my home and I never get a minute of alone time to talk to him. I actually asked my son 2 nights ago if he could spend a little time with me alone. Well, this caused a huge argument between them. I have seen her flirting with other men that is inappropriate and I think she may not have faithful. But I can't prove it. How do I get rid of this girl?

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Dove - posted on 06/18/2016

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By having her out of your house. You can't get rid of her out of your son's life because he is an adult and it's HIS choice on who to date or not, but you do not have to have her living in your home. You need to stay out of their relationship unless he specifically asks for your advice. Nothing you say or do will help. He will have to decide to end it when he is ready (or not).

My brother was in an up and down relationship for a good 15 years (I forget how many exactly)... my mom was involved in it for a good decade of the ups and downs... and not one single bit of her involvement ever helped him in any way. He is an adult and you need to let him figure this out on his own.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/18/2016

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I would ask her to move out. Hell, your son might thank you because he might not want her around 24 hours a day.

Jodi - posted on 06/17/2016

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You don't. She is not YOUR girlfriend. You need to let your son figure it out himself. Now, that does not mean you have to have her living in your house. But if you choose to deliberately sabotage the relationship, you are possibly going to put a wedge in the relationship with your son. Ride it out - if he is a smart boy, he will figure it out eventually.

Michelle - posted on 06/17/2016

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You can't do anything to break up the relationship but you can ask her to leave your home.
Your son needs to stand up for what he wants and stop letting her control him, but that's up to him. He needs to decide that in his own time and no amount of talking from you will help.
Ask her to move out of your house and see what happens.

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