Son in the hosptial after getting rejected by girlfriend after he proposed....

Kirra - posted on 01/04/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )

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So my son proposed to his girlfriend tonight only to get shot down by her. Well that didn’t go over to well with him as his ex strung him along and kept rejecting him as well so in all his wisdom (Sarcasm) He decided to go get wasted (Hasn’t ever drunk before a day in his life!) And well now he is in the hospital I am so angry at the both of them she should of known after a year and a half if she was ready or not and she said she just needs six more months I don’t understand what six more months is going to do for her! And plus she should of known that he wouldn’t take this well he is so in love with this girl it is truly scary! But it doesn’t excuse what he did and I just feel so bad for the both of them as now she feels so horrible and called me up balling at one in the morning! She wants my help in helping her explain to him that she still loves him more than anything and that the relationship isn’t over and then on top of it all she called back and said she does want to marry him and that almost losing him made her realize! This night has just been so crazy and now I can’t sleep at all!

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I'm sorry that your son made the poor choice to get intoxicated when his body couldn't handle it. Sad to say, this is part of growing up and being an adult. You learn to deal with not-so-happy moments in your life. I actually have to say I applaud the young lady for not accepting a marriage proposal. They both sound young, and she had the insight to know she wasn't ready. Sorry, but a year and a half may seem long enough to you, but perhaps not to her. Perhaps she had other events in life planned prior to settling down to marry like college, career, travel. You son reacted in an immature manner though. He could have gone to see a trusted friend, you, a sibling, or a long walk to deal with the emotions of the proposal. I think his poor judgement set in the guilt factor in her. I fear that if they do jump into marriage because she felt guilty, it won't be a happily-ever-after. As a parent, you really want to encourage them to wait and let their relationship recover after this tramatic event. Honestly, what is the RUSH to marry? If they are truly meant to be together, then it won't matter if they wait 6 months, 2 years, or hell, I even waited 6 years! Waiting allowed the relationship to grow strong, stable and build up my career. They are on the rebound, emotionally fragile, and you honestly should encourage them to wait. Best of luck to everyone involved.

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Emilie - posted on 01/09/2012

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If I was you I would be scared for them to get married. Because what if she decides after they get married that she dosen't want to be married and leaves him, or cheats on him. He needs to find a good woman that won't lead him on.

Robyn - posted on 01/09/2012

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I'm sorry to hear about your son. maybe his girlfriend just doesnt want to get married ever? I've been with my guy for 8 years, we have 2 small children and neither one of us want to get married. We're happy with the way things are. it doesnt matter if you're 26, 35 or 50, one may never be "ready" to get married. it doesnt mean she doesnt love your son. As for your son, i'm sure he's learnt his lesson about the whole going out and getting hammered thing. Don't stress yourself out, he's a big boy, he'll be ok.

Carolee - posted on 01/07/2012

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"What are you going on about Carolee? I disagree with you and you start going off on a rant? I didn't know pepole couldn't disagree with you..... " - Kirra

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Anybody who knows anything about me knows that I am willing to have people disagree with me. I enjoy it. But when you start (at least seemingly) getting defensive because of the advice that we give on a public forum, it seems obvious that you aren't open to advice at all. I was apologizing for any confusion, if there indeed was any confusion. I really would suggest maybe getting to know some of the women on here before assuming that either we don't know what we're talking about or that we don't like being disagreed with.

There IS a venting community that you might enjoy and benefit from. Here's the link:
http://www.circleofmoms.com/moms-who-nee...

Hope to see you there.

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2012

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I did read your post, and like I said, I'm not trying to attack your son. I understand he has been hurt in the past. I also understand how painful it is when you love someone and they reject you. But, like I said in my previous post, he needs to mature and learn to cope with rejection, whether it's from a loved one, or friend, coworker, etc. Rejection is a part of life. Even if someone is absolutely devastated and heartbroken, it doesn't necessitate going and drinking to the point that they need to be hospitalized. If he doesn't possess any other coping skills to deal with rejection he may not be ready for marriage. Marriage (in my opinion) is probably the toughest relationship anyone will ever face in their life. It is fraught with ups and downs all the time, including rejection. As wonderful as it can be to wake up every morning to the one you love, it's just as frustrating when they wake you up in the middle of the night snoring, or leave toothpaste globs in the sink. Obviously if he proposed he can deal with the ups of a relationship, now he needs to learn to deal with the downs. I truly hope he matures and finds a healthy and wonderful relationship with someone who loves him the way he loves her.

Kirra - posted on 01/05/2012

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What are you going on about Carolee? I disagree with you and you start going off on a rant? I didn't know pepole couldn't disagree with you.....

Carolee - posted on 01/05/2012

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Just to let you know, we give advice on this site. Didn't realize you didn't want any feedback since you didn't state that you didn't want any. Sorry for the confusion.

Carolee - posted on 01/05/2012

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No matter how many scars you have, it's how you deal with each situation that matters. I would suggest counseling for both of them... both separately and together. I agree with Sarah. Marriage is full of hard times that make you want to quit or drink or scream. First learning how to deal with these situations will help both of them if/when they do decide to get married, whether it be to each other or move on and marry other people.

Kirra - posted on 01/05/2012

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Sarah did you not read or comperhend? He dealt with this with his ex and was strung along and rejected a few times by her and so he has some scars from that.

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2012

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No offense, but it sounds to me that if your son is too immature to handle rejection that he needs to go out an get so drunk that he's in the hospital with alcohol poisoning that he may not be mature enough to handle marriage. Marriage is difficult and hard work and can be fraught with difficulties around any corner. You need to have the maturity to deal with if if you expect it to survive. He needs to maybe rethink his decision to marry. I truly hope that he recovers though and can use this as a learning opportunity.

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