Son left and I am devastated... PLEASE HELP

Patricia Jean - posted on 02/27/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I left my husband when my son was about 7 years old. He is 17 now. He was with me until he was almost 16 and his father was RARELY around. But his dads Mom was and she was extremely difficult to deal with.. whatever I did was wrong and she would 'protect' my sons father from having any responsibility to our son. Being a single mom is hard enough but when I have an ex mother in law telling my child that whatever I did was wrong, it made it even harder. For example.. I would say if you want this you have to earn it. She would just get it for him. When I would ground him or take away his phone or privileges due to him not doing his homework she would tell him that's it's not right, I shouldn't be doing that. When he was in 10th grade he was on the verge of failing and I got VERY strict with him and although he did end up passing, he was very angry with me. He was 15 and 1/2 then and while I had him grounded, they (his dad and his dads mom) offered him a car and freedom and everything like that. His father, who rarely saw him all his life, also began a relationship with a woman who had a son only one year younger than my Bobby and she was moving in with him. The grandma used this and also the fact that my son was already angry with me to convince him that he should live with his dad because this other boy was going to now have his attention and look at all we will give you. Of course being so angry with me, my son left. I WAS DEVASTATED and I still am. To this day, near two years later my son RARELY if at all will speak with me. He is surrounded with people who HATE AND DESPISE me and they never encourage him to contact me or take my call or anything. I find it so hard everyday to get up, to function, to be any kind of happy at all. I have MAJOR MOTHERS GUILT of every time we argued or when I lost my temper ... all I keep recalling are the mistakes I made and I just don't know how to cope. This is his last year of school now and I have missed his proms, him getting his drivers license, I have missed so much and I am still missing out.. he won't even talk to me anymore. I have no legal recourse because he is of age to choose where he wants to be. His father STILL harasses me with vile texts and rudeness and will not let me or encourage my son to talk with me. I just don't know how to cope or what to do. He is not doing well in school and this is his last year. If he doesn't pull it together he may not graduate with his class. This is happening because they are not at all interested in discipline, only in giving him what he wants. ie: at 15 when I was grounding him for bad grades, they bought him a car .. he wasn't even old enough to drive yet but was going to turn 16 in a couple months. This type of behavior is still happening and so he sees me only as the bad guy. I don't know what to do with myself, I don't know what to do to try to regain some contact with him because he won't even get on the phone with me. He has shut me out completely and seems to be rewarded for it. I am so depressed still and it has been nearly 2 years. I don't know how to even START to try to get on without at least some contact with him but he won't have it. Someone please give me some words of advice... I don't know what to do :(

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