Son moved with dad...HURTS!

Consuelo - posted on 01/28/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




My son moved in with his dad and I see he is doing just fine and has a great step mom...but the animosity kills me. Step and I communicate but when others get involved they are hurtfull and immature. I think it is great she has friends that are there for her but I am not the enemy. Would love them to realize it. I will not allow my friends to become involved or discuss it at all with them! My son hears the comments and passes them on to me. What do I do?


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Miranda - posted on 01/28/2010




First of all I would talk with her and explain the fact that YOUR child is hearing the comments that are so openly talked about and that you don't feel that it is appropriate for him to hear that! People are allowed to have their own opinion, but when it comes to a child, opinions need to be shushed (at least when he is around). I would also explain to her what you just said : "I would not allow my friends to become involved or discuss it with them". She has every right to communicate with her friends, but there comes a point when friends shouldn't be involved! The only thing you can do is explain how you feel, and especially if your child can hear things going on the most important thing should be your sons well being, and he shouldn't have to hear negative things being said about his mother!! Good luck!

Shannon - posted on 01/28/2010




I think as long as you and the step have a good relationship that is all that matters. Continue to keep the good relationship there. Friends always have something to say and since it is her friends it will never be good for you. I do think that it is unfair for your son to have to hear the comments that are being said about you. Not sure how good of a relationship u have with the step but maybe you should mention it if you think it will not cause a bigger problem. Sorry you have to go through this it is never easy trying to prove yourself to people that u should not have to prove yourself to. Just remember that your son is doing fine and that should be the most imporant thing. Hope this helps.

[deleted account]

I think the biggest issue is that your son is hearing these things and I would ask his step mother to make sure he is not around when she is having these chats with her girlfirends.

I am a step mother myself and I take great measures to make sure nothing negative is said about my step daughters mother when she is in my care. I also know how tough it is to be in the "non custodial" household and how tough that can be even when you know they're doing well.

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