son says he hates his life.

Monica - posted on 03/23/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son received his report card and his grades did not improve he has F, D, and C, therefore he continues to be on punishment. As the teacher and I have realized, he rushes to complete his work, doesn't study when he is supposed to be studying, has no interest in improving his grades, and isn't receptive to help when I try to help him. Whenever he responds in a dis respectful manner he is reprimanded for this, which is when he indicates he hates his life. This kids has everything (yes that is probably most of his problem), he is 11 and I don't want to loose him however, I refuse to allow him to run my home, there are rules in place and I expect him to make all efforts to abide by them and rule 1, is respect the rules of the house and one of the rules are to be able to enjoy your hobbies and leisure activities you have to maintain your grades and put as much effort into your education as you do your hobbies and respect authority. He gets upset when he has to put in extra effort when studying and that is a pet pee because I am the type of person when I want someone or when there is something that need to be done tell and I will make whatever moves needed to accomplish what need to be accomplished.

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Jodi - posted on 03/23/2014

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You need to set up an area in the house where YOU can supervise his studying. You don't need to set his work for him, that's the school's job. But leaving him home on his own to do his study is not going to work. Of COURSE he will slack off. Even at 16, my son STILL needs me to monitor that he has done his work, or he ends up disorganised and leaving it until the last minute.

Boys are not generally the world's most focused and organised people, I assure you. All that testosterone actually DOES screw with their brains (it is not a myth, it is a fact).

And you need to reward him for the C. Make sure you let him know when he has done the right thing.

Monica - posted on 03/23/2014

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Right, I don't punish for a C, but when he is supposed to be studying, I find evidence of others things he is doing so of course I remove those thing from his room then through conversation with brother I hear other evidence of watching t.v. or something like that, I even pick him up from school upon dismissal and bring him home so that he can have the opportunity to study before brother gets home sometimes 1-3 hours of time with no disturbance because I also will go down the street to family so he won't be disturbed and I will come home to find him outside and eating anything but studying. I try to help but my study skills including writing to help comprehend and he doesn't want to do the extra work but I keep explaining to him his way isn't working. I ask if there is a prob he indicates no, he is currently on meds for ADD. I am scheduling him an appointment in the morning for counseling I don't know what else to do.

Jodi - posted on 03/23/2014

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I guess my question is, did he try hard? It isn't (and shouldn't be) just about the grades. There are lots of kids who try really, really hard and will still never get higher than a D. What if he feels like he HAS put in extra effort and he is still getting punished anyway? Then he'd just give up and decide there is no point putting in the effort. I don't understand why he is getting punished for a C, personally, but here in Australia, a C is a sign that a student is achieving at the appropriate year level. But not every kid is an A and B student.

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