Sons girlfriend lives with us now they broke up!

Linda - posted on 08/03/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




Two years my now 22 year sons girlfriend was kicked out of her home by her very abusive mother. My husband and I took her into our home helped her with getting into college not financially but with paperwork for loans. At first she lived in the dorm but found that too hard since then she has moved into a spare room we have in the lower level of our home. We pay for her phone she drives one of the cars that is on my name and for which I carry the car insurance on. She calls us mom and dad. Fast forward to February my son and her are no longer together. She works two part time jobs but when I asked her to put the car in her name and obtain insurance she says she can't afford it. My husband also has her on his cell phone plan which he pays for. When she is not working she is going out all the time with her friends i believe partying. By the way she is 21 yrs old. My son is a homebody works everyday but enjoys spending his free time with his family she however likes to go out all the time. I think my son is still in love with her and it breaks my heart. She uses Facebook all the time and posts everything she does with pictures and posts. I know he reads them and sees she is moving on with her life. She doesn't help me around the house is no help for financially she doesn't even buy her own body wash or shampoo. Kinda feel taken advantage of here. Spoke to my son and asked if he has a problem with her living here he said no he does not! Spoke to my husband and he said he would talk to her about the cell phone and car insurance but he feels we made s commitment to her to allow her to live in our while she attends school. That my sons relationship problems are his problems and I shouldn't let her stress me out. Just want to know how other moms feel about this living arrangement because it really bothers me that we as parents ever put our family in this situation to begin with.


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Dove - posted on 08/04/2016




No adults (even my own children) would live in my house under those conditions... rent would be paid and a contract for rights and responsibilities would be written up prior to them living there.

You need to write up a contract for her and if she is not willing to sign and abide by it... time to serve her w/ an eviction notice. You can certainly go easy on her if that is what you would like to do... but she is totally taking advantage of your generosity and that needs to stop... for her benefit as well as yours.

Michelle - posted on 08/04/2016




I agree with Little Miss.
She is an adult and not even your adult child.
You need to have a contract written up outlining all of the things you expect from her. If you feel she is taking advantage of you then you need to put your foot down. You don't have to look after someone else's adult child at all. Yes, it's very kind of you to do so but you have to draw the line somewhere.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/03/2016




First off, this girl is not your responsibility. She is a grown adult.

If you and your husband continue to allow her to live with you, you and your husband need to write up some sort of a contract. What you expect from her in your home (chores, time to be home, how much you expect her to pay for rent, phone, groceries, car insurance etc). Then you and your husband sit down with her and review the contract. If she agrees, she signs. If she does not agree and won't sign, give her a couple of weeks to move out, but have prepared a date that she must leave by. If she breaks her contract, she leaves. You really need to be in charge of your own home. Honestly you should have done this from the start, but it is to late to look back now.

You are being very kind opening up your home, but she needs responsibility for her own life and actions.

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