Spanked my baby girl :(. I feel guilty, but nothing else seems to work when she has tantrums

Aileen - posted on 11/28/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Ok, she isn't really a baby, put down the stones. She's two and has awful tantrums. Today she was throwing one in the store. I decided to ignore it, but then she tried to bash her head on the floor. I picked her up, put her over my lap and gave her two firm swats. Here's the thing it works short-term. She stopped the tantrum. Her dad is very anti-spanking and I try to be, but when she does something dangerous whar what am I supposed to do? Does anyone have good ideas to stop an

tantrum that doesn't involve spanking?

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Lacye - posted on 11/28/2012

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I agree with Dove. When my daughter was that age she would hit her head on the ground when she was throwing a tantrum. One day she hit a little too hard and sure enough, she didn't do that anymore. Once they realize that it really hurts, they will stop.

Dove - posted on 11/28/2012

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Let her bash her head next time. She won't do it hard enough to do any damage and if she hurts herself.... she'll probably stop. Or you can pick her up and just walk out of the store.



If you can prevent a tantrum, great. If not, let her ride it out (in private) and offer comfort. Tantrums are caused because they have an overabundance of emotions that they can't control.... which can be quite scary for a little one (as well as annoying for the people listening).



As they grow older they 'tend' to tantrum less... It starts all over in preteen land though and you can't exactly spank them at that size/age. ;)

Jessica - posted on 11/28/2012

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It's hard in public, isn't it mama? I figured out (after 4 years of making decisions I now regret) that the calmer I was, regardless of what was going on, the quicker the situation ended. And yeah, I know it seems impossible sometimes. That's when reaching in the mommy bag of tricks for false enthusiasm helps. Found that one when my second was toddling around. I tease when my oldest can't hear that he was the "test kid". :)



When Jenson starts going weird, I swoop down to him or him up to me. I make a realllly big point of making sure he knows I want to know what the problem is. Sometimes questions and sincerity distract him enough to stop the strange right in its tracks. It's not about giving him "his way", it's about halting what could end up to be a horrid situation before it starts.



I don't focus on telling him it's 'bad' for acting this way, I just get him engaged so a loop of mutual distress doesn't begin. I ask enough simple questions or whatnot to get his little mind WORKING again. I'll say,"Doodle, I can't understand your words when you scream like that. What did you say?" It's like talking down a jumper.



When there's mostly calm and I've gotten him to communicate something, I tell him,"Oh! So that's what the problem was! See, mama can't understand what you want when you do (whatever it was)" Now if the strange was about something I didn't want happening, more distraction WHILE telling him that's not happening. I try to keep it simple when I actually want to communicate particulars... but when it's a behavior change or an emotion I just pull out all the stops and BLAB him down from that ledge. :)



And if "nothing else works"... isn't it great that when they're this small we can just bodily pick them up if needed? ;)

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Nicole - posted on 11/28/2012

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Ok I have a 11year old and 5year old..i talk with my kiddies all the time and explain to them right from wrong..here's the thing..disobey me once shame on me but do in twice i'm not so nice..i will admit when we're in public,i have to raise my voice and if that doesn't work I give em' the eye usually by then they r calmed but for any reason I should speak with them again,i let my hands do the talking..simply because they need to learn how to act in public or at home..in my home i'm the mom and u will obey if u want to keep getn those nice thing.. But my girls are the best we go shopn together all the time we laugh try on clothes just have fun because I taught them early on"where ever u act up at that is where I will give u a spankn,at"

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/28/2012

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Yup. Pick her up and leave the store. Or at home, if she is in a safe place just walk away.

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