Rachel - posted on 11/24/2011 ( 22 moms have responded )
I am posting this as I could not respond to a post from a lady named Margot, 'I have to say my two cents on spanking a child' My god, some of the responses to her post made me think one thing, have alot of you got a stick up your backsides???? There is a HUGE difference between spanking and beating your child to death!! No child can die from a spanking?! I AM NOT SAYING IT IS RIGHT AND I AM NOT SAYING IT IS WRONG! Just to make that point clear and Margot was doing the same in saying each to their own, what works for you as a parent works for you but dont judge other parents on what works for them!!!!! I am a 25 year old single mum to 2 children, a boy almost 4 and a girl of 11 months. I dont spank my daughter, clearly she is too young to understand and doesnt know right from wrong but i haved smacked my boy on the bum or the hand when he has been naughty. I do the naughty step, I count, I give him warnings and if he carries on he gets a smack on the bum! He knows he has been wrong and he apologises and we cuddle and I say sorry but you have to listen to mummy and all is forgiven and goes back to normal! I was in a bad relationship with my childrens father, he hit me on several occasions and was violent in other ways like throwing heavy items at me and he did not stop in front of my boy! He knows spanking, smacking, hitting is a bad thing and he knows not to do it himself but he also knows he has pushed me too far if i give him a smack on the bum. I dont leave bruises, marks cuts like his father did to me, I do not beat my boy and I do not abuse him! A lady quite rightly pointed out about the 'youth of today' and the lack of respect kids and teenagers have for the adults in their lives, the crime rates and so on. Children had rulers across their hands, wooden spoons, a smacked bum and so on and so fourth back when our parents and grandparents were younger and do you hear them crying to their shrinks that they had a bad life and it ruined them? No! It didnt do any harm! With the media and all the proffesionals telling us 'how we should raise our kids' somewhere along the lines wires have got crossed, what happened to just being a parent?? learning from our mistakes and raising our kids how WE want to? It is not up to anyone else despite your 'opinions' if spanking is wrong or right as Margot tried to point out, each to their own! If you are going to beat your child then quite rightly you dont desrve that child and shouldnt be a parent but dont judge the mothers who do give their child a tap or a smack for doing wrong when all else fails. Every child and every parent is different, you may be blessed with a well behaved child or a very good temper but dont forget anger is an emotion and raising children can be a very emotional time for some parents! Also yes I do feel bad after I have smacked my boys hand or bum but as I said I wait for him to calm down, he then says sorry for what it is he has done and I say sorry too. If you rush straight to them and say sorry as soon as you did it then there really is no point! Dont try to explain to other people and justify your reasons for doing what you do as a parent, just be! It hasnt really got anything else to do with anyone else how you parent your child, support and understanding is what this site is all about! Or did I not get the memo about it being a place for judgement by those who think they know what is best?