Spanking

Cindy - posted on 06/12/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Is it OK to spank a two year old? I spank my five year old Shona and she behaves after that but my two year old Nick misbehaves and I don't know if it is appropriate to spank a two year old? If so how? Naked or not, over the lap or not, belt or not? So many questions on the topic. When Shona gets her spankings I pull her underwear down and put her over my lap, should I do that with him or should I not spank him at all?

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Marie - posted on 06/23/2014

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I know you are asking a direct question about spanking and this doesn't exactly answer it. However, this has a great outline of discipline for toddlers (age 1-3) in general. It's such a difficult topic, on my levels, but I found many of these helpful when learning the best ways to discipline and work through issues with my son (from time outs to finding the best ways to talk through child tantrums, etc). http://bit.ly/1jJVbSM I hope it helps! Good luck!

Norma - posted on 06/13/2014

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, Dear mom of 2.....this is Norma,mom of 6.Now,i have had many years of education on children and families,and have been an advisor,as well having the experiences of raising 6 of my own.First of all,you may agree that there is already way too much violence,pain,and suffering in this world.I am sure that it is not your intention to do these things,preform this on your children.....BUT....when spanking ,wheather hand ,leather strap,brush,belt ect. ,one should realize that this is a violent act, causing pain,suffering, stress,anxiety,whic is psychological damage,that for some ,esp. if they are extra sensitive,may carry this as a bursen,the rest of their lives.
First,let us examine the origions of the concept,or belief that corporal punishment is the answer...these concepts date back many centuries,if not many millinium.But let's for the purposes of this examination,just consider the beliifs of our parents and our grandparents....i.e. PUNISHMENT ! they have done a bad thing,or,a harmeful thing...and if we retaliate and punish with hurt,and pain,they will NOT FORGET it Well that is so,but in a counter-productive way.BECAUSE although they may stop performing this transgression,it will be because of FEAR,not because they were led to understand WHY it was wrong.Certainly if you beat the Jesus out of them,they will comply,( for a while )but undeneath ,they are feeling fear,resentment,haterd,mistrust,and the destruction of true and healthy bonding. You have also taught them that the corect way to settle a difference of openion,or transgression,is by preforming violence upon the other person,,,,that this is the WAY to settle things.So do we wish to take a small innocent child ,and eventually through our ignorence,Well,," that's the way it was done to me ! " gradually turn he,or, she,into a hateful,resentful,angry person ,who feels cheated of the,love,the,understanding,and kindness,maybe because it is easier and quicker to pick up a hair brush,or belt,than communicate with the child.
So,just because it was done to YOU,that that does not make it right. Now you may ask," What then to do? How can I resolve the problem of this transgresion,without causing ..psysical.....or psycgical harm ?Well try this,.You first ask the child why he did this,what is his reasoning on the matter at hand.He probably will not be able to in an adult sort of way... and he may be afraid of what you feel about it ,or what you might do to him..and ...either denie it ,or say that some one else did it..Do NOT let him sense danger or fear from you,...so just set him at ease,ask him to look into your eves,and ask him to tell you the truth,that you just want to help him figure out the reason why ,so it doesn't happen again,,,,,,Now,,in some cases what happened may be harmful to him ,or someone else. Reason with him ,and let him discover why he did it,and how he can prevent himself from doing it again.in other words make him ,his own intelligence and reasoning,to be the solution.Understanding and intelligent communication is key. Of course we alll know about taking away privileges if the pattern were to continue. In certain serious cases,he may need professional counseling......Hopefuly , that will not be needed.,but if it is,do not hesitate.THE BEST ,understanding to you, mom.

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